A Captain's Promise
by Xenobia
Summary: When Petra Ral joined the Survey Corps and met her captain in person for the first time, she was expecting quite a different person. As she got to know Levi, however, she realized that the reality was far better than the ideal. A mini-story focusing on Petra and Levi. Angst, hurt/comfort, humor, character death.
1. Chapter 1

"A Captain's Promise"

Chapter 1

Levi/Petra

 _Author's note: I will not be posting any explicit scenes in this version I'm uploading here. Readers will be prompted by an end note to visit my Archive of Our Own account to read uncensored chapters if there is a lemon to go in any chapters I upload here._

 _*Disclaimer: This fanfiction is for entertainment, non-profit purposes only. I do not claim ownership of any canon characters or the world that this is set in._

* * *

When she first met the captain in person, she was surprised by his height—or lack thereof. Petra Ral was slightly below average in height but Captain Levi Ackerman was barely an inch taller than she was. When they announced that the captain was coming and ordered everyone in the courtyard to fall in, she was expecting someone at least six feet in height. She stood at attention with the others and she fought a smile of excitement, anxiously awaiting her first glimpse of humanity's strongest soldier. She kept looking for him even after an attractive man with dark hair and a youthful appearance rode in on a shiny black horse.

Then that man dismounted and Petra blinked when one of the veteran scouts came up to him, saluted and said: "Welcome back, Captain!"

Her jaw nearly dropped. Yes, he was handsome with his mysterious, heavy-lidded gaze and fine-boned features, but he was so...small! He couldn't be more than 5'3. As Dita led the magnificent black stallion away, Petra's eyes stayed glued on the man that was allegedly the great hero she'd heard so much about. He walked amongst the ranks slowly, his boots hardly making a whisper of sound as he inspected each soldier, old and new.

It was then that she began to see it. His stature was small, but his presence was another matter. When he stopped before her and gazed at her with unreadable gray eyes, she found herself flustered and intimidated.

"Name?"

It took her a moment to realize what he'd asked. She realized she was looking into his sleepy gaze and she wasn't supposed to be doing that. Cursing herself for forgetting something so basic, she looked ahead and straightened her stance. "Petra Ral, sir!"

"Petra Ral," he repeated. "You seem surprised by something. Were you expecting someone else, perhaps?"

She shook her head. "No sir, of course not."

"Hmm." The captain looked over a clipboard he carried in his hands. "Your stats look good, but as with all new recruits, these evaluations were made by people with...shall we say lower standards than the Survey Core. My evaluation of your skills won't be so lax. As with all new recruits, one of the first things you need to learn is that hygiene is a top priority of staying here at headquarters, Petra. Can you clean?"

She was only mildly surprised by the question. Of course she and the other trainees had been expected to keep their barracks clean in basic training. "Yes sir."

"We'll see," answered the captain. "You should also know that culinary duties are shared equally by everyone. The rotation schedule is pinned up in the mess hall. You should check it each week to confirm which meals you'll be scheduled to cook. You do have some basic cooking knowledge, don't you?"

"Well, I'm better at baking but—"

"That will be fine. Do you have any medical knowledge?"

"Some, Captain. More than average. I thought of becoming a doctor before I decided to join—"

"That will be useful, then," interrupted Levi. "What about mechanics? Sewing skills? Agriculture?"

Petra broke into a sweat under the drilling, trying her best to keep up with him and answer his questions precisely and without hesitation. "I don't know much about mechanics, sir. I do have some sewing skills and I know how to do basic gardening."

The captain considered her silently for a moment, his fine-boned, attractive features unreadable. "At ease. Go and join the others in cleaning, then. We'll see how good you are with that, first."

She saluted him and hurried to comply, unsure of where to begin.

"Whew...I could barely get a word in edgewise," she breathed once she was out of sight of the man. Her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry. No, Captain Ackerman was not a tall man...but he certainly had a penchant for making one flustered.

* * *

An hour later, Petra nearly jumped out of her skin when a low voice spoke into her ear from seemingly out of nowhere. "You missed a spot. Here."

She turned to stare at the Captain and she blinked. He was wearing a white scarf over his head like a do-rag, and he had his mouth and nose covered with a second white scarf. The sight was so unexpected that she couldn't help but stare. He looked so...cute.

No. That was no way to think of him. Shaking herself out of it, Petra looked where he'd indicated. Levi ran a gloved finger over the windowsill she'd just finished dusting and she could see the residue clinging to the white material of it. "Oh! Sorry, sir. I'll try to be more thorough."

"See to it," he answered. He looked around and inspected the rest of the room while she dusted the sill again. "The rest of this looks good. It was only that one spot. Nice work, Ral."

Petra smiled at him. "Thank you, sir."

Levi left the room again and she kept smiling even after he was gone. "He's a clean fanatic!"

Petra started to giggle. Of all the quirks she would have imagined Captain Levi to have, that wasn't one of them. Just what kind of a man did she sign up under?

* * *

A few days later, Petra was treated to another surprise. She did her shift cooking a meal and she baked some potato pies and spiced carrots for the evening meal. She cleaned up afterwards and Captain Levi again startled her straight to her toes when he called everyone into the kitchen—including more seasoned scouts—and pointed at her.

"All of you pay attention," he informed them, "this is how it's done. Cadet Ral's work here is the perfect example of how you _all_ should be cleaning up after yourselves, so have a good look. In fact, she should not even be cleaning up on her own. Why in the hell didn't any of you assist with the dishes after dinner?"

Nobody answered. Everyone looked around uncomfortably and Petra blushed to the roots of her hair. "I don't mind, captain," she said softly.

Levi's gray eyes met hers and she shrank in on herself. "That's very generous of you, cadet, but this squad is all about teamwork and cooperation. You should have requested help if nobody offered, so it's as much on you as it is on them."

Petra blinked in confusion. Was she actually getting scolded for _cleaning_? "I...I'm sorry sir. I'll remember that the next time."

"Hey Petra, I'll help you out next time," offered Oluo Bozado with a smirk. "Just ask me _really_ nicely."

She grimaced at him, fast becoming tired of his not-so-subtle advances on her. Her eyes widened again when Levi advanced on the taller man. Oluo visibly cringed at the cold, level stare he got from Levi. "Do you want to repeat that without eye-fucking her, corporal?"

In the background, squad leader Hange snickered behind her hand. Oluo loosened the collar of his shirt and cleared his throat. "I didn't mean anything, Captain."

"You will treat the women in this squad with the same respect you show to the men," Levi informed him coldly, "so unless you want to start spouting sexual innuendos to all of us, you had best consider changing your attitude."

"Yes sir."

Levi glanced around again. "Dismissed."

They were all too eager to leave, and Levi turned to look at Petra once more before making his exit as well. The young woman still stood with the sponge in her hand and a confused expression on her face. Just what was the point of all that? She'd been flattered at first that he'd used her cleaning as an example but then he turned around and got onto her for doing it in the first place!

"What a confusing man," whispered Petra. She sighed and removed her apron. She needed a bath and a book to read.

* * *

As the days passed, the captain monitored every movement, every tactic and every reaction of both newer recruits and older ones as they practiced. The gauntlet set up in the forest outside city limits was designed not only as a practice range but as an aptitude test. Oluo had more experience than most of them and his cuts and moves were the most impressive of the bunch. Gunther was getting more skilled by the day, and Eld Jinn was all business. Levi had already decided that he would assign Eld as his second in command when the time came to choose ranks within his elite squad. He was still short one member, however. He preferred to have at least four elite soldiers in his special operations squad, and thus far none of the current Survey Corps members were making the cut.

He needed people that could work together in conjunction, with little or no communication needed between them. It was difficult to judge who was capable of that in the gauntlet, but soon enough they would be traveling out on their next expedition and Levi would be able to get a better idea after seeing them all in action together against the real thing.

Petra Ral seemed to be doing well. So far she hadn't missed a mark yet. Her one failing seemed to be that her movements were a bit stiff. She stayed too low to the ground, which could put her in un-necessary danger in the field. There was no help for it out on the open terrain where mobility gear use was limited by a lack of elevated structures or trees to latch onto, but she really needed to be elevated higher when the conditions were ideal for it.

Erwin came riding up to the gauntlet, having just returned from the capital. Levi didn't turn as the commander dismounted and came up beside him. "The rookies look promising," commented Erwin. "Not as impressive as you were when you joined us, but some of them appear skilled enough to qualify for your team."

Levi nodded, his gray eyes watching everything. "The newer ones are still moving like novices; with the exception of Ral."

Erwin followed Levi's gaze to the young woman in question and he grunted as she turned a flip in the air and took out the "neck" of a dummy titan that had dropped out in front of her. "So I see. Are you considering her as a potential member?"

"Given the lamentable skills some of these others have been demonstrating, she may be my best choice for a fourth." Levi kept his eyes on her and he compressed his lips when Oluo swung by Petra and murmured something to her that made her lose her concentration.

"That horny idiot," muttered the captain. "I warned him."

"He only spoke to her," observed Erwin. He rubbed his chin and he glanced sidelong at Levi. "Some advice, perhaps?"

"I doubt that." Levi was unreasonably annoyed. Men bantered all the time and it wasn't anything new for them to make advances on female squad members they found attractive. He was convinced that Petra didn't welcome Bozado's affections, however. Whatever he'd said to her had efficiently compromised her focus and she glared at the man in passing, her cheeks flushed.

"Does that look like the face of a woman that just got some innocent advice?" Levi pointed out.

Erwin was looking at him silently. The captain looked up at his superior and his brow furrowed. "What?"

A slow, subtle smile crept onto Erwin's lips. "Nothing to worry about. I've just noticed something. Pay me no mind."

Levi returned his attention to the action in the gauntlet. "Tch. Creep."

* * *

Levi noticed that Petra seemed to put up with a lot of Oluo's attentions and sometimes she even seemed to enjoy teasing him...but she always ended up quietly trying to extract herself from his company whenever he started murmuring whatever lewd suggestions he'd make to her. It wouldn't be a good idea if he kept intervening on her behalf. She needed to learn to deal with it on her own, else Levi might earn more of those sly smirks from Erwin that pissed him off to no end.

"Petra," he said one day as she rounded the corner after again walking away from Oluo.

She gave a gasp and a start. "Oh, Captain! Good afternoon." She saluted him.

Levi was leaning casually against the wall and he didn't look at her as he spoke. "If you don't learn to stand up for yourself, people are going to keep walking all over you."

"Oh, nobody's walking all over—"

Levi fixated her with a knowing, level stare and she abruptly snapped her mouth shut.

"So then you've noticed Oluo's...behavior," she guessed.

"I think most everyone has," answered the captain. He pushed away from the wall and he approached her. He noticed the way the afternoon light struck her red-blonde hair and for a moment, he lost his train of thought. It reminded him of fall leaves.

"Sir?" She bit her lip, obviously intimidated by his sudden stare.

"I've seen your sparring skills," Levi went on softly, nudging his attention away from his stupid, fanciful notions. "You're no wimp. You know how to take down a man twice his size, so do yourself a favor and make use of those skills the next time he steps out of line with you. Do it as many times as you feel necessary."

"I don't want to cause any trouble," she sighed, tucking a strand of that shiny, soft-looking hair behind one ear. "He's harmless, sir. He's really just all talk."

"Hmph. Sometimes that talk distracts you, and you can't afford that. I'm giving you my full permission to teach him a lesson, Petra. You won't suffer any disciplinary repercussions. If he acts like a pig, then treat him like one."

She smiled at him. "Seriously? I can kick him around and I won't end up on toilet duty for it?"

Levi's mouth twitched and he nodded. "Seriously. Just try to remember to do it for a reason, and not just for shits and giggles."

She chuckled. "Thank you, Captain. I'll keep that in mind. Oh! Your cravat..."

Levi glanced down with a frown. "What of it?" He couldn't see anything wrong with it from his vantage point.

Petra stepped closer and she produced a handkerchief from her pocket. "You have a little...here...may I?"

Levi nodded, watching her face as she poked the tip of her tongue out the corner of her mouth in concentration. Petra reached out to wipe at the clothing accessory, her brows drawing together with determination. The captain kept staring at her, observing each little expression that passed over her face as she scrubbed a spot that he couldn't see on the cravat. Her eyes really were an unusual shade. Everything about her coloring reminded him of autumn.

She finally smiled in satisfaction and stepped back with a nod. "There. I noticed a little smudge. I think I got it all, though." She straightened the cravat for him, spreading out the ruffles.

"Perfect," Petra said softly. Her amber gaze met Levi's and she blinked, a blush spreading over her cheeks.

"I appreciate it," murmured Levi. "Now excuse me, I have inspections to do."

"Of course, sir." Petra watched as he left, and her blush remained on her cheeks.

* * *

A couple of weeks later, they got approval for the next expedition beyond the walls to set up another supply base. Petra was both excited and nervous, as it would be her first one. She hadn't actually seen a titan up close before, and she knew that the drawings in the training material weren't going to be enough to prepare her. As they prepared their gear and supplies the evening before the expedition, she listened to the more seasoned scout members talk about them and discuss past expeditions, and she took mental notes on everything they said. Unfortunately, Oluo had a habit of not-so-subtly flirting with her as he advised her.

"Now you're good with a blade," he informed her, "but the first time you see one of those big bastards you'll probably forget everything you've learned about taking them down. Stick close to me and I'll keep you alive."

Petra sidestepped his attempt to put an arm around her. "Thanks, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

"You're still a greenhorn," insisted Oluo. "Trust me, you're going to need someone watching your back in the field."

"That's what my team mates are for," she countered. "We're _all_ supposed to watch _each other's_ backs, remember?"

"Yes, but I can take extra special care of—"

Petra elbowed him abruptly in the ribs when he tried again to put an arm around her. Oluo's breath escaped with a grunt and he rubbed his side painfully. "What the hell was that for?"

"For you acting like a pig," answered Petra. She saw Captain Levi walking his horse by and he must have overseen and overheard it, because he paused and he gave her a subtle nod of approval before moving on. Petra smiled a little, but then her expression hardened when she looked to Oluo again. "Look, I like you but if you keep acting like a creep, I'm going to have to put my foot down...or up your ass, if I have to."

"Ooh, the kitten has claws." Oluo backed down when she glared up at him warningly, and he held his hands up. "All right, I can take a hint. Just remember I offered to take care of you during this expedition."

"Thanks, but I don't need you to 'take care of me'," she replied.

She walked away and she sighed. Oluo wasn't always a jerk, but when he got in those moods...ugh. She'd been tempted to do more than elbow him this time. Her sour expression softened into a smile when she saw Commander Hange and she gave her a quick salute and a wave when the scientist called out a greeting to her. Hange drove Captain Levi up the wall—figuratively speaking—but Petra liked her. In fact, there weren't many people Petra _didn't_ like, and she wondered if that was a good thing or not. She couldn't think of a single person in her squad that she could honestly say she disliked—including Oluo.

 _~The Captain probably thinks I'm too nice. Maybe I am.~_

But Levi was a very different person from her. As Petra walked into their headquarters with the intention of taking a bath, having dinner and calling it an early night, she spotted the very man she was thinking about. He was wearing his dust scarves over his face and on his head and he was sweeping. She stopped and blinked. He must have gotten straight into cleaning mode as soon as he stabled his horse. He happened to glance up from his task and meet her eyes, and she smiled at him and approached.

"Can I help, Captain?"

Levi took a moment to think on it, and then he nodded. "Grab a broom, then."

Petra went straight to the first floor broom closet and she retrieved one of them. She also grabbed one of the scarves neatly folded on the shelf to cover her mouth and nose, knowing that Levi would chastise her if he saw her sweeping without one. She checked his location in the main hall and she decided to start on the opposite side so that she could meet up with him in the middle.

"If you don't mind my asking, sir," called Petra as she joined him in his sweeping, "why clean the day before an expedition? We're going to all be pretty filthy by the time we get back, so won't we just have to clean again?"

"That's true," answered Levi, "but I noticed a lot of dirt got tracked in today and to be honest, I couldn't stand looking at it. Cleaning relaxes me anyhow."

"Of course." Petra nodded in understanding. She kept glancing at the captain from the corner of her eye as the two of them steadily made their way across the floor to each other with their individual piles of swept dirt and dust.

 _~He's so cute.~_

She caught herself and her eyes widened. No, not again! She should _not_ be thinking of her captain this way! She needed to stop that right now. The thought had been popping into her head more and more often and him wearing those cleaning scarves only made it pop up more. She could be devoted to him and loyal to him, but she shouldn't be thinking of him romantically.

He really _was_ cute, though, with that shiny dark hair, those enigmatic gray eyes and his lean, strong frame. He smelled good too, and he had a nice voice.

Petra slapped herself in the face.

"What in the hell was that about?" Questioned Levi, stopping his sweeping to stare at her.

Mortified with herself, Petra quickly came up with the most reasonable excuse she could think of. "I felt a tickle and I thought it was a bug, sir."

Levi nodded. "Pests."

Petra didn't say more, embarrassed by her own thoughts and behavior.

* * *

Her faith in her companions was Petra's greatest strength as they rode out of the gates the next day and into the open wilderness. For once, she didn't mind Oluo riding close to her. In fact she took comfort in it. Up ahead of her was the Captain, and at his side was Eld Jinn. She wasn't sure why she'd been assigned to ride amongst the elite squad in the center, except that she'd been told by Hange that she was under consideration to be picked—but she had to survive her first expedition and prove her skills on the field first.

She saw the red flares go off from the right center spotters and she gulped. More went off on the left a few moments later and Petra gritted her teeth and kept an eye out for the green flare from Commander Erwin that would signal the platoon to change course in whatever direction he chose. It finally went up and she kept pace with her comrades as they altered their trajectory.

Then she got her first real look at a titan. The platoon had to split up to ride around a large copse of trees, and at ten meter came bursting out of the vegetation. It ran straight for the outer ranks of her flank and it stomped one of her fellow scouts and his horse. Petra couldn't react right away—just as Oluo had warned her might happen. She could only stare with wide, frightened eyes as the gigantic, bloodshot eyes fixated on her and the titan came straight for her. It had razor sharp teeth in a frowning mouth and its stomach was bloated-looking.

She didn't even notice right away when she wet herself. All she could think of was how big and monstrous this creature was, and she saw her death looming over her.

"Petra!"

Oluo intercepted and he deployed his gear, firing his grapplers into the titan's legs. He swung around, skidding on the ground behind it as he drew his blades, and he cut into the ankle tendons. Petra snapped out of her fear-induced haze as the titan crashed to the ground and she used her ODM gear to carry her rapidly to the fallen titan. Screaming with terror and adrenaline, she performed a maneuver and she sliced into the titan's nape. Her aim was true and she cut deep enough to finish it off. She was shaking like a leaf when the Captain rode up with Eld Jinn to check on her and Oluo.

"Are either of you injured?" called Levi.

Petra shook her head and she swallowed against the tinny flavor of fear in her mouth. "No sir. Oluo brought him down before he could get me."

"But Petra took it out," Oluo added with a grin at her. He patted her on the back. "Good job."

He then glanced down as the wind blew her cape to the side and he noticed something. "Aww, you pissed yourself, Petra!"

That cut through the aftermath of her adrenaline burst and she groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

"Don't worry about it," advised Eld Jinn. "Oluo has no room to criticize, believe me."

If Levi had any reaction to news of her wetting himself, he didn't show it. "All right, mount up and get back in formation," he ordered.

Petra was all too happy to do so, though the ride was going to be uncomfortable in her soiled pants. She pulled her hood up and tugged it over her face as far as it could go, wishing she could vanish into thin air. As she and her companions raced to catch up with the platoon, Levi came up beside her.

"Petra."

She grimaced and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Sir?"

"When we reach our destination, you can get a change of pants in convoy supply wagon six. I'll make sure nobody disturbs you while you do it."

"Oh God," she muttered. Aloud she thanked him, her face bright red.

"It happens," Levi said, "it's why we bring spares. Most don't manage to make their first kills after having an accident, either. Not bad for your first time out."

Levi went on up ahead after that and Gunther had fallen back to meet up with them. Trying to swallow her humiliation, Petra kept a sharp eye out for any further signs of titans.

* * *

They took down three more titans on the way to their destination—two were deviants that ignored the outer ranks and went for the center supply flank, and Captain Levi eliminated both of them with startling speed. Petra was suitably awed to finally see him in action, and she stared at him covertly from under her hood for a while afterwards. The other menace was a wandering regular like the one that almost got Petra. Oluo claimed that kill. They sustained moderate losses in the ranks before they reached the ruins of an old town and set up camp. Petra climbed into the supply wagon indicated to her by Captain Levi as soon as she got the chance, and she felt much better after cleaning herself up a little and changing her pants. They'd thought it through more than she'd realized, stocking supplies with uniform pieces of all sizes for just such emergencies. There was a trunk labeled for soiled clothes and she felt a little better when she found a couple of soiled pairs of pants already in there. At least she wasn't the only one.

Petra averted her face after climbing out of the wagon and finding Levi standing there, sipping a cup of tea. He glanced at her and he nodded in the direction of the thin ribbons of smoke wafting up near some broken buildings by the fence.

"There's coffee and tea available at the campfire. If you haven't eaten any rations yet, you might want to consider it."

Petra saluted him, trying to look everywhere except at his calm, unreadable face. "Thank you, Captain. Um, is it safe for us to have a fire going in daylight hours? Won't that attract titans to our location?"

Levi shook his head. "They don't give a shit about fires. If any titans are in the immediate area, they'll be attracted to us as prey regardless."

"I see." Petra sighed. "There's still so much I don't know."

"We're all still learning," answered Levi. "What you need to focus on the most for now is where to strike to take them out and how to avoid getting eaten. The little things can come later."

She finally pulled her hood down and she looked at him. Levi had looked away and he studied the clouds rolling in on the horizon. "Sir, should I be doing something specific to assist in setting up the base?"

Levi shook his head. "Not for now. The supply teams have that covered." He turned to look at her and the breeze blew a lock of dark hair over his left eye. "You should have some refreshment and rest. Your skills will be needed soon enough, should any titans be spotted nearby."

She saluted him again. "Yes sir."

She started to leave, but then the captain called out to her. "Oh, and Petra."

She turned to regard him with a questioning look.

"You did well out there today," he finished.

She lowered her eyes bashfully, all too self-conscious about her little accident. "Really?"

"Yes. You kept your wits and you followed orders. More importantly, you survived. That's what makes a good soldier."

Petra smiled. "Well, let's hope I make it back to headquarters in one peace then, so I can truly call myself a scout."

"Don't hope," countered Levi evenly, "just do it."

She nodded in understanding. One thing she'd learned about their captain was that he didn't accept excuses or "I'll try". He expected his soldiers to do their very best and be confident in themselves and in each other.

* * *

It took them two days to finish setting up the supply base. They came under attack three more times—twice from normal titans and once from deviants. They lost twelve more soldiers in these attacks and Petra sustained a minor head wound. The ride back was just as frightening as the journey out, and there was the additional burden of the dead to carry back with them. Some couldn't be retrieved because they got devoured by titans.

One of the deceased happened to be a girl that Petra had graduated with, and while they hadn't been terribly close, it affected Petra more than she wanted to let on. After all, she and Jacqueline had trained together for years and they both joined the Garrison Brigade before transferring to the Scouts. That was a significant part of her life and now a piece of it was gone for good. She kept her head bowed as she rode, hiding her tears beneath the shade of her cloak's hood.

"Ral, what in the hell are you doing?"

Petra snapped out of her reverie as the captain rode up to her, and she realized she'd broken formation and drifted away from the platoon. "I'm sorry, sir."

Levi frowned at her. "Lift your hood."

She hastily scrubbed her eyes and obeyed, and he nudged his mount closer to examine the wrapping on her head. "Is your head injury screwing up your concentration?"

She swallowed. Truthfully her head was throbbing a bit, but her grief was the bigger distraction. "A little, Captain. It's also..."

Petra glanced off behind them at the carts carrying their fallen, and she bit her lip. She was afraid to say it out loud...afraid he'd tear into her for letting her emotions rule her.

Levi followed her glance. "I see."

No judgment, no remonstrations, just a thoughtful glance. He looked at her again and he nodded in the direction of the carts carrying the wounded up ahead. "Ride with the injured for the rest of the journey, Petra."

"Sir?" She wasn't that badly hurt. Her injury was superficial, compared to some of the scouts riding in those carts.

"That's an order, Ral."

"Yes sir." She kicked her horse into a faster gate and the two men watching over the wounded helped her off of her mount and into the cart with the others. Sighing, she decided to be useful and assist with nursing the more critically injured soldiers.

* * *

Levi watched Petra care for the other injured, and he wondered if perhaps she was too tender-hearted for his team. She wept with one injured young woman as she described the death of one of her team-mates, and she gave water to those that were thirsty when she wasn't changing their bandages or helping administer salves and pain tonics. Then again, that sort of selflessness was a quality he needed in his soldiers.

The captain went on ahead for a while to ride up at the vanguard with Erwin, Hange and Mike so that he could give his report of the status of his flank. "Nine injured, three dead recovered and four devoured," Levi informed Erwin.

Erwin nodded. "How many of those numbers are counted amongst your special operations team?"

"One injured," answered the captain, "though it's minor. Petra Ral took a head injury assisting with a kill. I have her riding in a wagon with the other wounded."

"Wait, I didn't know Ral was on Team Levi," Hange said with interest. "I knew you were considering her but this is only her first time out."

"She proved herself well enough," answered Levi. "She assisted with four kills and she took one down herself. Call it a gut feeling."

"Oh, that's great!" enthused Hange. "Now you have the full team!"

"How interesting," Erwin observed.

Levi frowned at him. "What's interesting about it, exactly?"

"Only in that the others on your team had to survive no less than two expeditions and have two kills before you would consider them," answered the commander evenly.

Mike snorted and Levi shot a glare at him before answering the commander. "I've seen her skills both on and off the field. This was her first time out, true, but she demonstrated good instincts and she didn't need to communicate with her team mates when she assisted them. That is exactly what I'm after and you know it, so get off my ass."

"I was merely curious," excused Erwin. "It _is_ your team and I trust your judgment."

"Good, then we can stop discussing it. And stop smirking at me." Levi fell back, leaving Mike huffing once again in amusement and Hange wondering what in the hell she missed.

* * *

The day after their return to the walls and Headquarters, Levi summoned Petra to his office. He was just finishing up with his paperwork when she came knocking on his door. "Enter."

She opened the door and walked in, and Levi noticed that she had a small bandage on her forehead over her left eyebrow now, rather than a wrapping. He could see discoloration around the bandage, but evidently her wound had indeed been superficial.

"Come have a seat, Petra," invited Levi with a gesture at one of the armchairs on the other side of his desk. He stood up and he clasped his hands behind his back as she did so. "Before I start, I have to know one thing: Can you trust me and your squad implicitly and without question?"

"Yes sir," she answered without hesitation, "I already do."

He nodded in satisfaction. Let Erwin think he was doing this just to keep a closer eye on her. Petra didn't need a babysitter and Levi wasn't in the habit of hovering over any of his soldiers. He taught them skills to survive and he backed them up, but they had to be resourceful and capable themselves—and he believed that Petra Ral was.

Levi picked up one of the documents from his desktop. It was the mission statement of his elite squad and a list of their members. He circled around his desk and he handed the document to her. "Have a look."

Petra took the document, her brows furrowing a little over puzzled amber eyes. She tucked a strand of ginger hair behind her ear as she read over it, and her eyes widened when she read her own name on the list. She looked back up at Levi with disbelief, her lips parting in wonder.

"I...I'm on here!"

Levi nodded. "So you can read your own name. That's good to know."

"I'm not illiterate, sir," she reminded him. "I read on my own time in the barracks."

"Good." He honestly wasn't certain, until now. Plenty of young military recruits from poorer districts couldn't read or write well—if at all. This was why their mission plans tended to consist of charts and colors, along with detailed verbal instructions. Those who could take written notes did, while others had to simply rely on memorizing their objectives and protocols.

Levi took the paper back from her numb fingers and he set it back down on the desk, before turning around to face her again. He offered his hand. "Congratulations, Ral. You are now not only a scout, but a member of my special operations team."

Petra couldn't have smiled more brightly if she were made of sunshine. She shook Levi's hand happily and she stood up. "Oh, I can't _believe_ it! I thought...well, I wondered if I was still on the short list, to be honest. Captain, thank you! Thank you so much!"

Then in her excitement, Petra did something that threw both of them off. She impulsively kissed Levi on the cheek. She immediately realized what she'd done, while Levi's brain seemed to lock up. He stared at her and she stared back, slapping a hand over her mouth.

"Oh, I shouldn't have done that," gasped Petra behind her hand. "I am _so_ sorry. I just got so excited and I lost my head. Please don't take me off the list! Captain? You aren't saying anything. Ah, damn it...if only I could take that back!"

Levi wasn't speaking because he couldn't think of anything to say. He had to gather his wits before speaking. "Better you than Oluo, Gunther or Eld Jinn. I'd have put them through the wall, but I'll give you a pass this time."

Petra breathed a sigh of relief and she chuckled softly. The color returned to her cheeks, and she cleared her throat and saluted him. "Thank you, sir. I promise that won't happen again."

The captain told himself that he didn't feel a twinge of disappointment with that sincere promise. "Dismissed, corporal Ral. Don't disappoint me."

"Yes sir!"

* * *

-To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

"He's seizing!"

Petra tried to roll the severely injured soldier onto his side as he began to jerk and flop around like a fish out of water. She'd wrapped his head injury, but half of his scalp and hair was torn off and there were fractures in his skull from the titan biting into his head. It was her second scouting expedition. This one was another mission to establish a new supply base—inside Wall Maria rather than out in the wilds. They'd managed to evade several titans on the way to their destination while the support teams distracted the creatures, but during their flight one of said support team members got caught up in a titan's grip.

Squad Leader Hange took the titan out before it could finish the soldier off, but the damage was extensive regardless of her efforts. Now they were in the abandoned settlement that Erwin had chosen for the next supply base site, but the stricken soldier wasn't out of harm's way by a long shot.

One of the new cadets helped Petra get Corporal Chambers onto his side, and Petra did her best to comfort him while avoiding his twitching limbs. There was nothing more that they could do except watch and hope as the young man's eyes rolled back and bloody foam bubbled from his lips.

"Please hold on," begged Petra.

The soldier's twitching started to lessen, but his pulse was growing weaker by the moment and he was unresponsive to her. A hand fell on Petra's shoulder and a familiar voice spoke to her.

"Petra, he's fading. Let him go."

She turned her head and looked up at Hange, who was bending over her. "B-but..."

The squad leader nodded at the soldier—who had finally gone still. "He's gone. We did what we could."

Petra bowed her head and she squeezed the still-warm hand of her comrade, whispering her regret to him.

* * *

Levi found Petra standing alone, apart from the rest of the squadron. She was standing at the corner of a building that had once been a grocer, but was now half-demolished. They'd secured the area and Mike was heading the lookout teams. He had heard about her efforts to save the stricken support team member after he finished patrolling the perimeters, and Ned told him that he'd seen her come this way. Levi dismounted his horse and he gave him a pat, before approaching the young woman quietly.

He could see the glisten of tears on her cheeks as he closed the distance and observed her profile. She was staring off at the hills near the foot of the wall. Levi deliberately kicked a rock to make some noise and she turned to regard him. Petra wiped at her eyes and she sniffed before saluting him.

"Captain, sir. I was given leave to take a break."

"I know. At ease."

She relaxed her stance and he could see that she was visibly fighting with her emotions. Levi stepped up to her and he looked into her tear-reddened eyes. "One casualty so far," he murmured, "and only five wounded. That's probably the best statistics we've had to date...though we haven't traveled far into titan-infested territory."

Petra heaved a trembling sigh and she looked off in the distance again. The wind stirred her hair and there was some blood drying in some of it. "No offense sir, but that isn't of much comfort to me."

"So I've noticed. Look at me, Ral."

She obeyed and she bit her trembling lower lip. Levi kept his voice low and his expression calm as he spoke to her again. "Are you a doctor?"

She looked confused. "No, sir."

"What are you, then?"

She lowered her gaze. "A soldier," she admitted softly.

Levi nodded. "That's right. You need to start _acting_ like one."

Petra raised her eyes to look at him again. "With all due respect sir, does being a soldier mean I can't grieve for the fallen? Am I supposed to just become an automation without compassion or feelings?"

"Of course not," he replied evenly, "but don't get so distracted worrying about _their_ heads that you end up losing your own. Honor the fallen. Grieve for them when you can, but do _not_ allow that grief to turn into regret and dictate your decisions. Keep your eyes on the mission, support the living and leave the dead buried. Their problems are over with. We stare death in the face every time we ride out, and if you dwell too much on those who've passed, you're going to join them sooner."

Petra nodded. Another tear rolled down her cheek.

Levi reached into his jacket and he withdrew the badge he'd cut from the fallen scout's uniform. He offered it to her. "This was Chambers' badge. I thought since you stayed with him until the end, it was only fitting that you should have it. His body will be returned to his family for funeral rites, but you can keep this badge in his memory. I'm sure he would have approved."

She blinked back more tears and she sniffed. "Thank you, sir." She carefully tucked the blood-stained memoir into an inner pocket of her uniform jacket.

Levi turned to go, but Petra called out to him softly. "Captain Levi?"

He turned to regard her. "What is it?"

"Do you think it would be inappropriate for me to attend his funeral? That is, by your leave."

"I can arrange that," he answered, "and no, it wouldn't be inappropriate. I'm sure his family would welcome the scout that both comforted him and tried to save him."

Petra blinked away tears and she managed a tremulous smile. "Thank you, Captain."

Levi hesitated, and then he reached under his cloak and he fished out the handkerchief from his left pocket that wasn't yet soiled. He held it out to her. "You'd better hold onto this, too. Go ahead and mourn while we have this reprieve, but be prepared to pull it together when we move out. Understood?"

Petra took the offering from him and she nodded. "Yes sir, I understand."

Levi turned away again and he saw Oluo approaching as he went to his waiting horse to mount back up. Oluo greeted him with a salute and Levi nodded before stepping into the stirrup and hopping up onto the saddle. He patted his mount on the neck as a reward for waiting for him, and he heard Oluo speak to Petra in the background.

"I heard about what happened," Oluo was saying to her, "and you shouldn't blame yourself. Even if we'd managed to get that soldier to the best hospital available, he wouldn't have made it."

Levi glanced back toward the pair and when he saw Petra hug Corporal Bozado for comfort, he felt a twinge of...jealousy? No, that wasn't right. It was envy. He envied the man for being able to freely give Petra what he himself could not: comfort. Oluo could put his arms around her and hold her while she wept. Levi could only offer her a handkerchief and some tough love.

At least _someone_ could give Ral what she needed most at this moment. Levi's priority was to teach her how to survive.

* * *

Erwin greeted Levi with a nod as the scout captain guided his horse over to stand beside the commander's. Levi nodded back and together, they surveyed the landscape from the hill they were on. A windmill creaked behind them, still functional even though there were no residents to take advantage of it any longer.

"Sometimes I hate what this job turns me into," confessed Levi softly.

He stated it dispassionately and his expression was as detached as ever, but Erwin noticed the way the captain's hands had tightened around the reins of his mount as he spoke those words. The commander frowned slightly before focusing his blue gaze back on the horizon.

"Don't we all?" Erwin spoke just as softly. "However, we must be willing to make sacrifices in this struggle, and sometimes those sacrifices mean becoming 'monsters' to the eyes of others."

Erwin looked at Levi again, searchingly. "Are you beginning to have doubts concerning your recent choices?"

Levi shot a cold look at him sidelong. "I've heard this before. What are you rambling on about now?"

"Petra Ral," obliged the commander frankly.

Levi narrowed his eyes at him. "You've seen her in action. Are you going to tell me you don't think she has the skills?"

"Certainly not," answered the blond. "It's as you say: her combat skills are impressive, as is her devotion to her squad—particularly its leader."

"Tch...what exactly are you getting at?" demanded Levi. "You've been like a tick on my ass since I recruited her. Just spit it out and stop playing your ambiguous word games with me."

Erwin met his gaze. "What I'm saying is this: Are you going to be capable of maintaining the mission statement we've laid down, Levi? When the time comes to make enormous sacrifices, are you certain that you will be able to do so?"

"My resolve in our mission hasn't wavered," answered Levi. "You should know that by now. You've asked for my complete trust, but do you trust me?"

Erwin nodded. "I do, and I will trust you to remember your oath to me when the time comes to put the good of humanity above our own interests."

Levi's frowning lips thinned. "God, you're an asshole."

He backed his horse up and he turned around, riding the animal away down the hill.

Erwin smirked. "And yet you still follow me," he murmured...though Levi was beyond range of hearing it.

* * *

 _Two weeks later, another expedition was arranged outside of all walls. This one was a cartography expedition. The intention behind it was to explore uncharted areas off the known map and seek out signs of civilizations further out from the walls. Unfortunately, the mission did not go as well as the previous one and Captain Levi found himself in a dangerous predicament._

* * *

He'd gotten separated from his team and from the platoon. It wasn't anyone's fault. The weather took a turn for the worse and the flares weren't much good for keeping everyone together and communicating. When three titans came at them from seemingly out of nowhere, they had no choice but to scatter. Levi took one down before it could cause any casualties, but the formation broke as the other two attacked. Levi was thrown from his horse—not due to a titan hitting him but due to the boom of thunder overhead spooking the animal. The fall damaged his gear, but he didn't realize it until he attempted to engage one of the other titans that had lumbered through the ranks. His left trigger stuck and only the right grappler fired. He made due with it anyway and he recalled seeing Petra joining him in the attack.

He then got struck by another titan that came into the fray and he landed several yards away. The broken edge of one of his blades gashed his arm as he rolled, but that was the least of his concerns. It was raining so heavily that he could no longer see any of his fellow scouts, so his only choice was to try and find his horse. The animal fortunately came to him when he whistled for it, but Levi was completely disoriented. He mounted his horse and he attempted to track down his platoon. The ground was so wet and the rain was coming down so hard that he couldn't make out any tracks, nor could he see any flares or hear any sounds that might lead him to the others.

"Damn," muttered Levi. He tried firing a purple flair with his gun, but it didn't go off. It was too damp. There could be titans all around him and he wouldn't know until they were on top of him. The captain pulled his hood lower to shield his eyes from the rain and he surveyed the pouring landscape. Ignoring the throb in his left forearm, he released the broken pairing blade and replaced it with another.

"A lot of good that will do me with busted gear." Still, it was better than nothing. He checked his compass and he tried to paint himself a visual of where he ought to be on the map. They hadn't made it into uncharted territory yet, so...

He heard the gallop of hooves approaching and the snort of a horse. He turned to see another rider bearing down on him from out of the mist and he called out to them. "Which direction is the platoon?"

The rider's mount skidded a little as they pulled it to a stop, coming close to running directly into Levi before seeing him. Now that he was close enough, Levi was able to recognize the woman peering out at him from the depths of her hood.

"Captain, sir! Thank God," Petra called. "I saw the direction that you got thrown and I came to find you! Are you hurt?"

Levi glanced down at his bleeding arm. "Not bad. Let's get back in formation. Which direction, Petra?"

She turned and she shielded her eyes with her hand. "Um...oh, no. I can't tell!"

Levi sighed. "Wonderful. Now we're both lost."

Petra opened her mouth to speak, but then they heard the roar of a titan not too far off. She paled and she checked her gear. "I'm not sure how close that is."

Levi shook his head. "We'll outrun the bastard rather than engage, if we can. My gear isn't functioning right. There should be a giant forest to the northwest. Let's make for that and we can wait out this storm up in the branches where titans can't reach us."

* * *

"Well, this is fubar," grumbled Petra once they made it into the forest of giant trees and got up into the canopy. At least the trees provided some reprieve from the downpour, and their cloaks were waterproof. Not that it had done either of them much good in the mad dash to the trees. Both she and Levi were soaked everywhere except for their heads and shoulders—but they were alive and their horses were tied up a short distance away.

"Sir, please let me see to your forearm," she prompted when Levi said nothing. She tried to ignore the noise from the five-meter and the eight-meter titan that had come into the forest. Both were both now ineffectually slapping at the trunk of the tree they were in. She and the captain had chosen one of the largest, strongest trees they could find to wait it out.

"My arm is fine," said Levi.

She clicked her tongue and took hold of his left wrist, scooting closer to him so that she could shield his arm from the rain somewhat with her cloak. She'd grabbed the medical kit from her horse's saddlebags before taking to the trees with him and the last thing she wanted was for Levi to get an infection. He complied with a sigh and he allowed her to unbutton and roll up his jacket and shirtsleeve to have a look. Petra hissed in sympathy when she saw the gash.

"This may need suturing when we get back to headquarters, sir. For now, I can put some ointment on it and bandage it up tightly."

Levi nodded. "Do what you need to do."

Petra spread her cloak out a little to keep the rain out of the medical kit as she opened it up and dug through it. Her hands were cold and shaking a little, but she could at least manage simple wound dressing. "Captain, do you think the others will find us?"

"I'm sure they'll be looking for us as soon as this damned rain eases up. If we can get the flares dry, we can try firing an emergency one when the weather clears."

"I have a purple one stashed in the medical kit," said Petra. "That should keep it dry enough, I think. It's getting a bit late, though. I hope the platoon hasn't been wiped out."

"Hmph. There's no doubt they suffered more casualties in this mess, but they're survivors. Commander Erwin will come up with something, trust me."

Petra concentrated on her task, deciding not to debate the issue. She couldn't worry about her friends and teammates right now. Her main concern was her captain. She finished wrapping his forearm and she squeezed his hand impulsively, gazing at him with worried amber eyes.

"How is it, sir?" Her jaw was tense and she began to shiver with cold—and quite possibly fear.

His eyes were hooded as usual as they gazed back at her from the depths of his hood. "Better. You did a good job."

She smiled, trying to stay as warm and calm as she could. A shiver passed through her and she hugged herself. She looked down and she gasped when she saw that three more titans ranging from seven to ten meters in size had joined the others at the base of the tree. Levi reached out with his uninjured arm and he slipped his hand under Petra's chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Don't look at them," said Levi. "They can't reach us, so don't let them unnerve you."

Petra nodded. Levi was a much better view, anyhow. She shivered again and she decided to crawl over to her captain and sit beside him against the trunk of the tree. Levi had unscrewed his canteen and he was holding it out to collect rainwater. He glanced at her when he felt her shiver and he stared at her until she squirmed uncomfortably.

"What's on y-your mind, C-captain?" she asked him through chattering teeth.

Levi closed up his canteen and re-attached it to his gear harness, and then he surprised her by wordlessly holding his cloak out, putting his uninjured arm around her and pulling her close. His lips moved against her forehead as he spoke to her and his breath was warm against her skin.

"You're no good to me if you end up with pneumonia. We'll share body warmth."

"Oh...oh, g-good idea." She didn't dare move a muscle. Levi's body was hard and warm against hers, and she gulped. She thought of how she'd impulsively kissed him on the cheek in gratitude when he informed her that he was recruiting her to his team. For a moment he'd almost looked startled, and then that mask of calm indifference dropped down again and Petra thought she must have imagined it.

"C-can we talk, sir?" she murmured, and she dared to reach across beneath his cloak to put her hand on the shoulder opposite to the one her cheek was resting against.

"About?"

"Anything," answered Petra. "I just w-want a distraction from the sounds those t-titans are making below us."

The creatures were breathing heavily, slobbering and making incoherent noises of frustration as they stared up at the two small beings out of their reach. Levi glanced over the side of the wide branch they were on and he grimaced slightly before nodding. "You start."

Petra bit her lip, and then she decided she'd best not do that while her teeth were still chattering or she might bite right through it. It was growing darker and it was going to get even chillier once night fell. "Well, I got a letter from my dad the other d-day. Everything seems to b-be going okay at home."

"Good." Levi wrapped his cloak a little tighter around her.

Petra definitely started feeling warmer—particularly in the face. She'd never seen the captain with any woman, but that didn't mean he didn't have a love interest somewhere. "Captain, do you have anyone that you w-write too? Family or...m-maybe a lady friend?"

"No."

"Nobody at all?" she pressed.

His mouth brushed against her forehead as he shook his head again. "Nobody. The only family I might have left is nobody that I'd want to speak to again."

"That's too b-bad." Petra tilted her head back a little to look at his face. "Do you ever go out and do anything for fun between missions?"

He met her gaze. "Like what?"

Petra shrugged a little. "Oh, I don't know. A show, maybe?"

Levi smirked. "When the hell am I going to find the time, Petra?"

"You could take a night off once in a while," she insisted. "You deserve that, s-sir."

"I don't have time," answered Levi.

Petra sighed as her teeth finally stopped chattering. "Couldn't you just _make_ time and treat yourself?"

"No."

She huffed a little and she thought she saw his mouth twitch. "You know Captain, you aren't the most conversational man in the world."

"You've just now figured that out?" His gaze flicked over her face and his lips thinned with discomfort as he lifted his left hand to touch her face. "Your skin is warmer now."

"Mmm." She closed her eyes. "I feel better. How is your arm, sir?"

He didn't answer her. Petra opened her eyes and she found him staring at her wordlessly, his hand still cupping the side of her face. The rain had eased up a bit so that it was no longer coming down in sheets, and the patter of the raindrops striking the hood of her cloak was almost soothing.

"Captain?" whispered Petra, unable to break his intense gaze. "Is there...something you want to...say...?"

His face was closing in on hers and Petra held her breath, hopeful in spite of herself. Levi's mouth covered hers, and she reflexively gasped. His fingers traced her cheek and jaw before sliding into her hair beneath the hood. She had no idea what had provoked him to do this, but the feel of his lips on hers, his gentle touch and the warmth of his strong, lean body pressed against hers destroyed any reservations she might have had. In fact the only reason she'd had reservations in the first place was because he was her captain, but evidently Levi had decided that didn't matter.

Petra didn't question it. She'd sworn she'd never kiss him on the cheek again after her blunder the day of her recruitment into his team, but she'd never said anything about _him_ kissing _her_. No harm, no foul. She returned the pressure of his lips and she clutched at his harness straps beneath the cloak. His tongue traced her lips slowly and teasingly as his fingers massaged her scalp, and a dizzying thrill went through her. She parted her lips and a soft, desperate noise passed from her mouth into his. Levi's tongue delved in briefly, caressed hers and then withdrew. He did it again, this time lingering for a little longer before withdrawing.

Petra forgot all about the damned titans beneath them. She reached into his hood to stroke his hair and the shaved portion of his undercut tickled her fingertips. Levi's mouth parted from hers briefly, only to close in again. Petra heard a low, masculine sound of desire from him when he paused his kissing again.

"Levi," she murmured, feeling a need to squirm restlessly. She assumed he'd be okay with her using his given name in this situation, rather than addressing him as "captain" or "sir".

"Shh," came his whispered reply, and then his lips pressed against hers again.

Petra felt his fingers tighten in her hair and tug lightly as the captain broke the kiss again. She tilted her head back as he kissed her throat, feeling the splash of raindrops on her face. He sucked, kissed and licked on her neck for a moment before returning his lips to hers for another kiss. It seemed to go on and on, intensifying until they were both breathless. Levi, however, didn't let his hands wander. He didn't even touch her ass. Petra came close to getting a little bolder with her touches, but she refrained because if Levi wasn't groping, she probably shouldn't either. Those kisses though...it was like he was making love to her mouth with his.

They finally came up for air and Petra laid her head on his shoulder, in a daze. "Captain?"

"Hmm?" Levi had his undamaged arm around her beneath the cloak, and he reached up with his bandaged hand to tug her hood back into place on her head.

"What made you kiss me like that?"

He turned his head and his lips nuzzled her ear. "What made you kiss me when I recruited you?"

"Hey, you aren't supposed to answer questions with questions," chided Petra with a smile. "Come on, tell me."

"You first."

She sighed. "But sir, I already told you! I was ecstatic and I just acted on impulse." She bit her lip. She tended to do that a lot when it came to Levi; first with the cravat, then with the kiss on the cheek and finally, chasing after him recklessly through the rain with titans all around them. "I guess you just bring something out in me."

"Interesting."

Petra lifted her head off his shoulder. "Okay, I told you mine. Now you tell me yours...please?"

"I didn't plan it, if that's what you think," Levi answered evasively.

"Of course I don't think that. You've been injured, we've been separated from the platoon and we're stranded up a tree with broken gear. That would be an awful lot of trouble to go through just to set up a kiss, Captain."

"I have a feeling Oluo would do it," muttered Levi.

Petra smiled at him. "Sir...you know I have no interest in him, don't you?"

"Yes." Levi's eyes met hers and he said no more about it.

"So about the kiss," she pressed, giving up on trying to figure out if that had been a jealous reaction or not. "You still haven't told me what made you decide to do it."

Levi shrugged. "I felt like doing it."

Petra groaned and dropped her forehead to his shoulder. "With all due respect sir, you can be very frustrating."

"Can I?" Levi smirked against her ear. "I've never heard that before."

"So you won't tell me _why_ you felt like doing it?" she persisted. She stroked his hair cajolingly.

"Is that really so important to you?"

"Yes!"

 _~Because I don't know if that was just a singular moment between us or if you're interested in something more. I need to know where I stand.~_

Levi spoke softly into her ear. "You looked pretty and I lost it, all right?"

Petra flushed, feeling a little giddy. "Have you thought of kissing me before this?"

Levi sighed. "Yes, damn it."

She took her head off his shoulder again and she smiled at him. "Don't get upset. I've thought of kissing you too—and not on the cheek." She was having trouble seeing his face as clearly, because the sun was almost down and the cloudy skies choked out what little remained of the day's light. She traced his features with her fingertips. "I've actually been struggling with an attraction for you, Levi. Is it...okay for me to call you that right now?"

Levi nodded. "Under the circumstances, yes." He cupped the back of her head to draw her in for another lingering kiss.

* * *

Petra stayed awake while Levi rested, curled up against him for warmth. She nearly dozed off when the titans below started getting lethargic from lack of sunlight and quieted down, but she caught herself. She sighed and she cuddled up to Levi, almost grateful for their predicament. Who knows when or if this would have happened between them if it weren't for this situation?

"You're so warm," she whispered to her slumbering captain—and then she frowned. "Wait...you're _too_ warm."

She lifted her head off his chest and she realized the rain had finally stopped. She slipped her hood down and she did the same for Levi, trying to see him clearly in the darkness. She felt his cheeks and his forehead and she cursed softly. He was feverish. That gash in his arm...she hadn't been able to clean it thoroughly enough. She'd hoped that the salve she'd applied would stave off infection but that didn't appear to be the case.

"Levi? Captain?" Petra gently shook him. His head lolled and she saw his eyes open a slit.

"Mm? What?" he murmured groggily. He lifted his head with visible difficulty and he peered at her in the darkness. "Petra, where are we?"

"In one of the giant forests," she explained. "Don't you remember, sir?"

He frowned in confusion for a minute. "Oh, right. Shit, what time is it? My head is killing me like I went on a drinking binge."

"It's about three hours after nightfall," answered Petra. She unhooked her canteen from her harness and she opened up the medical kit to get out a piece of cloth. "Your head is probably aching from the fever, Captain. I think your wound is getting infected."

"Of course it is," said Levi dryly. He sighed as she dampened the piece of cloth and pressed it against his forehead to try and cool his skin.

Petra worked Levi's canteen free of his harness, guessing that he might not want to drink from someone else's even though they'd been sucking face earlier. "Here, drink," she urged.

Levi took a couple of swallows and then he waved it away. Petra capped the container and replaced it in his gear. "I'm going to try the emergency flare now. I don't know how far behind we are from the platoon, but I'm hopeful that they wouldn't have advanced much further once they realized you were MIA. They may even have search parties out looking. If nobody comes then I could take out those titans down there. We can ride back to the wall under the cover of night, or we can try to track down the platoon to rejoin them. What do you think, sir?"

"The rain will have washed away all of their tracks," reasoned Levi. "We'll go by the supposition that they aren't too far away from us to spot the flare. If nobody comes within an hour, then I'll give you the nod to carry through with your second plan and ride like hell back to the gates. You do know that some deviants are still active through the night, don't you?"

She nodded. "I know, sir. That's why I'm placing my hopes on someone spotting our flare and coming to find us. Please just rest, sir."

Petra got out her flare gun and she loaded the flare from the medical kit. Whispering a soft prayer, she held it up, plugged her ear and fired it. "Thank God," she murmured when it went off. The purple streak lit up the area as it shot up through the canopy and climbed high above the trees. She dropped the empty cartridge into the medical kit and she holstered the flare gun. She smiled at Levi, but that smile quickly dropped when she saw in the luminance that her captain had either fallen back asleep or passed out.

* * *

"Purple flare, purple flare, purple flare! Move, people! We've got an emergency signal and it might be the captain!"

Hange nearly ran over a couple of rookies that were unfortunate enough to be in her way. She charged through the encampment to find Erwin. "Commander, we've got a big, beautiful purple flair rising from the giant forest to the south! It could be Levi!"

"Or Petra," reasoned Gunther, "or one of the other seven missing soldiers. The worst part about trying to track down lost scouts is that we don't know if they've been eaten by a titan or not."

"Levi did _not_ get eaten by a titan," Hange insisted vehemently. She mounted her horse and called out to her comrades. "Who's coming with me to investigate?"

Levi's remaining team immediately mounted up, as did Moblit and Ned.

"All of you, take riding lanterns with you," Erwin reminded. "You still run the risk of coming across active titans and with the cloud cover blocking out the moonlight, the way is going to be very dark."

Hange and the search party volunteers took up the lanterns given to them by their fellow scouts and with a wild yell, the squad leader took the lead.

* * *

Levi heard the approach of horses, but he thought he was dreaming at first. He kept alternating between feeling like he was burning up and having the chills. His arm was throbbing and Petra had elevated it and propped it on her shoulder to ease that for him. He was vaguely aware of her soft lips pressing kisses against his jaw as she cuddled up to him, warming him when he got the chills and dabbing at his brow when he got overheated.

"Captain, I hear horses!"

So, he wasn't imagining it. Levi opened his eyes with effort and he started to lean over to try and see the forest floor. He nearly overbalanced and Petra gasped and embraced him, righting him before he could fall off the branch.

"Try not to move, sir," advised the young woman. "Please, just sit tight while I investigate."

Levi rested his back against the trunk and he bent one of his legs to prop his injured arm on it. He watched Petra's shadowed form stand up and walk further out on the branch to have a better look, but before she could even confirm it, he heard Hange's voice yelling out.

"Leeeviiii! We found your horse! Where are you?"

"Captain Levi? Petra?" called Oluo's voice. Eld called out as well. There was the sound of ODM gear firing moments later, followed by aggressive yells and crashes.

"Sir, they're clearing away the titans at the bottom of the tree! I'm going to assist them, okay?"

"Fine," answered Levi. He was struggling just to stay conscious, and he didn't understand how one cut could fuck him up this much. Even if it was infected, it shouldn't have gotten this severe this fast.

Levi heard Petra yell, heard Oluo greet her with enthusiasm and then there were more crashes. Moments later, two forms landed on the branch that he was on, followed by a third. Levi grimaced against the glare of the lantern that got shoved in his face.

"Levi? Oh damn, you look awful."

"Thanks, four-eyes," grumbled the captain.

"I've got him," offered Jinn. "Here sir, put your uninjured arm around my neck. We'll get you back down to the ground and to the encampment."

"I might puke on you," warned Levi as being lifted caused a wave of nausea to hit him.

"Puke is nothing compared to the substances I've had splashed on me today, Captain." Eld carried him down as gently as he could, where the carcasses of the dispatched titans lay steaming on the ground.

* * *

After getting Levi to the scout encampment, Hange took him to the medical tent they'd put up and she examined his injury with Moblit's help. She came out a while later and she reported to Erwin.

"It seems the captain's broken pairing blade cut him when he got walloped and separated from the platoon. According to Levi, there was still titan blood on his blades from his last kill."

"Titan blood dissolves over time once exposed to air," reasoned Erwin with a frown. "How is that significant to his condition?"

"Because it mingled with _his_ blood when the cut was made," answered Hange. "This isn't the first time I've seen infections of this nature, Erwin. They hit hard and fast, but they aren't as difficult to shake as standard infections. We just need to monitor his temperature, keep his wound clean and medicated and keep him hydrated. I've sutured it up as neatly as I can. Luckily it wasn't very deep; just long."

Hange smiled at Petra, who had quietly come up to listen. "He was lucky to have you there with him. You took all the right steps to take care of him, and he would probably be a lot worse off by now if it weren't for that."

Petra lowered her eyes modestly. "I didn't know it was so serious. I thought it was just infected because I couldn't properly clean it out."

"You couldn't have known," Hange spread her hands. "It happens sometimes in the field, but it's really not common. Rest assured, you made a difference. Bravo, my dear."

"Thankfully, you both survived," Erwin said. "Ral, get plenty of rest. You are exempt from watch duty tonight unless you decide you absolutely want to participate."

"Thank you sir." She saluted him and she cast a worried look toward the medical tent behind her as the commander walked away. She looked up at Hange. "This titan blood infection...can it alter people's behavior? I mean before it become obvious that they're falling ill?"

Hange frowned a little. "Altered how? Like intoxicated?"

"Something like that," answered Petra. "Could it make them do things they wouldn't normally do?"

"No, not until the fever sets in. After that, some people have trouble staying awake like our dear captain, and sometimes delirium can set in. Why do you ask, Petra?" Hange's gaze intensified on the smaller woman with sudden interest.

"Oh, I was just wondering if I could have spotted the symptoms earlier if I had been a bit more observant," Petra hastily excused. "May I say goodnight to the captain? Or I could take shifts watching over him."

Hange smiled at her. "Of course! Just don't neglect to get some rest yourself. I think Erwin is going to call for a withdrawal first thing in the morning. We've lost too many and with Levi down as well, I can't see us pushing much further with any notable success."

"I'm glad," sighed Petra. "I know that sounds like a defeatist attitude to have, but this hasn't exactly been a promising mission."

"No, it hasn't." Hange pulled aside the tent flap for her. "Go on and see the captain now. Just be ready for a call to arms if any titans with enough pep left in them to wander about come too close to camp."

"Absolutely," agreed Petra.

* * *

She stepped into the tent and she looked around at the pallets on the floor. The lantern light was dimmed to allow the wounded inside some sleep, and it took Petra a little while to find Levi's pallet. She knelt down beside it and she gazed down at him. He'd been stripped of his shirt, harness and gear, and it appeared someone had changed his pants. She touched Levi's heated cheek and she checked the damp cloth on his forehead. Finding it warm, she removed it and she dipped it into the nearby bowl of cool water to refresh it for him.

Levi stirred and he looked up at her. "Petra," he whispered. "What's going on?"

"I'm just cooling you off," she explained with a gentle smile at him. "Are you feeling any better, sir?"

"About the same," he sighed.

"Well you look a bit better," she informed him. She wrung the rag out and she dabbed at his face with it. "Your eyes aren't so glossy now. Are you thirsty?"

"I could use a drink."

She fetched the canteen hanging over his pallet and she supported his head as she brought it to his lips. "Not too fast," she cautioned.

"Damn, I feel weak," he complained with a cough after having a few swallows.

"Did Hange explain about the infection?" Petra took the rag off his forehead and she dabbed at his neck and shoulders with it, moistening the skin to keep it cool.

"Yeah, she did. What a shit day this has been."

Petra bit her lip. "All of it?"

Levi's gray eyes met hers, and he revised his comment. "No, not all of it."

She relaxed. "Then you remember...in the tree? When it was still pouring?"

"I wasn't drunk. Of course I remember. I initiated it."

Petra hastily pressed two fingers against his lips and she looked around. Most of the injured soldiers were asleep, but some were still awake and she didn't think it was a good idea for them to overhear and start rumors.

"I'm sorry Captain Levi," she whispered when he gave her a look of annoyance.

"You just shushed me."

She nearly giggled and she bent over to speak into his ear. "I just didn't think you would want other people hearing about it, sir. I was trying to be subtle." She dared to comb his bangs with her fingers. "I'll be keeping an eye on you as much as I can tonight, Captain. I know you—"

The sound of approaching stomps in the distance distracted her and she took Levi's hand as the ground started to vibrate. "Deviant," she guessed. She could hear horses whinny and soldiers shouting orders outside the tent.

"Then kick its deviant ass," mumbled Levi, on the verge of losing consciousness again.

Petra glanced around to be sure none of the other patients were looking, and she pressed a kiss to her first two fingers before touching Levi's lips with them. "I'll do my best, sir."

* * *

After a harrowing night of camping in the clearing of a conifer forest, the platoon gathered up everything before the sun began to rise and they prepared to get into formation for the journey back to the walls. As Hange predicted, Erwin wasn't willing to keep pressing deeper into uncharted territory with so many losses and his best soldier out of commission. Levi's fever had gone down but it hadn't broken yet, and he grumbled as he was loaded onto the cart with some of the other wounded. Petra checked in on him every now and then as they traveled back home, as did the others on team Levi and of course, Hange.

It just went to show how something as simple as the weather could turn a promising expedition into a failure. They were returning home with a pile of bodies again, along with several soldiers missing and presumed dead. Levi and Petra weren't the only MIA to get recovered, however. One of the young men that trained with Petra managed to stumble back across the platoon after getting separated from them in much the same way the captain had. He was the only one fortunate enough to do so out of all of the missing.

It took Levi a couple of days to recover from his infection, but his injury healed up quickly and he was back to business as usual as soon as he regained his strength. The only differences in his behavior were the covert glances that passed between him and Petra, and the increased time he spent speaking with her. At first Gunther thought it was favoritism and he got a little peeved. He'd been under Levi's command longer than anyone on their team and while Petra was certainly sweet and skilled, he couldn't understand why the captain seemed to confide in her more often than anyone else.

He then saw it one day, while passing by the crumbling stone fence near the picnic table outside. Levi and Petra were standing side by side under one of the oak trees, talking softly about something. Gunther saw her reach for the captain's hand, and Levi took it and gave it a squeeze before releasing it.

 _~Oh, so_ that's _what's up. Wonder how long that's been going on?~_

Gunther considered things carefully. Aside from talking to her more often and exchanging glances with her, Levi really hadn't been giving her any special treatment. Petra still did her share of work around headquarters like everyone else, she didn't skip training exercises or sparring and she got along with just about everyone. He decided to keep it to himself. Whatever they had going on didn't seem to be compromising the way things were run, and it was up to the captain to decide when and if to go public with it.

* * *

-To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's note: Thank you kindly for the reviews thus far. I loved writing this little fanfic.  
_

* * *

The unintended romance with Petra went on, and despite Levi warning her that he wasn't exactly ideal relationship material, they grew closer as time passed and the days grew colder. Autumn was in full-swing, and regardless of his quiet fondness for Petra, Levi inadvertently began taking out his frustrations on her. He wasn't fully aware of it until she approached him one evening while he was busy at the stables.

"Captain, do you have a moment?"

Levi paused in brushing his horse. He nodded at Petra, though truthfully if anyone else had tried to pull him away from his task he likely would have told them to wait. "What is it?"

She walked over to him and she rested her arms over one another on the gate to his mount's stall. She put her chin on the topmost one and she kicked the toe of one boot absently against the ground. "What's wrong?" she whispered.

Levi blinked slowly, the only change of expression on his face. "Nothing. What's wrong with you?"

She sighed and she still kept her voice down. "My boyfriend is snapping at me for no reason lately, that's what's wrong. So will you tell me either what I did or what someone else did so that I can at least have some closure?"

Levi glanced to the side. "I didn't realize. I warned you that I suck at this, Petra."

She dropped her arms off the gate and she meandered into the stall with him. "Then let me help you suck less," she suggested, petting his horse on the nose. "At least tell me if it's something I did so that I can fix it."

"Don't be ridiculous," he muttered, "what could you possibly do to..."

When she gave him a patient yet slightly hurt look, he sighed. "It's not you."

Petra relaxed, and she went to the gate again and assumed her previous pose, watching him expectantly with her hazel-gold eyes. Levi started brushing his horse again, but that questioning gaze stayed on him. He looked at Petra again, and she batted her eyelashes.

"So?"

"'So', what?" Levi actually found himself having to concentrate to maintain his bored expression. It wanted to crack under those doe eyes.

Petra cleared her throat and gave him a deliberately pouty look. "What was that about trust, sir?"

Levi made a soft, frustrated sound in his throat, and he finally parted with two words: "Fucking Hange."

For moment, Petra looked convincingly shocked. Her mouth fell open and she straightened up again, making an offended sound. "Well! _Captain Levi_!"

His stoic mask finally slipped a little and Levi's brows knitted. "Don't tell me you're offended that I swore."

"Don't play stupid with me," she warned, shaking a finger at him. "I thought there was some tension between you two, but I didn't expect you to just come right out and admit that you were—" She mouthed the word _'fucking'_ rather than saying it aloud.

"What the _hell_ are you on?" sputtered Levi—and then he understood. His confused expression fell, to be immediately replaced with a dully exasperated one. "Really?"

Petra covered her mouth with her mouth with her hand, muffling her laughter. She cleared her throat and plastered a haughty look on her face. She spoke just loudly enough for him to hear her and fortunately, the only other person around was one of the left flank spotters, and he was occupied with patching a crack in the wall. "Well then, I suppose I should be going. Clearly one woman isn't enough for—"

Levi walked out the gate behind her as she turned to go and he caught hold of the fluttering end of her cloak. "Where do you think you're going, soldier?"

"Erk!" Petra's tongue stuck out and she coughed as he pulled her back toward him.

Levi felt like a shit for accidentally choking her—until he remembered the way the cloaks were designed to wrap around the shoulders and fasten. They were tailored in such a way as to prevent accidental strangulation in the event of catching on a branch or—if the wearer was unfortunate enough—being grabbed by a titan. Petra was still putting on a dramatic act, but he was onto her now.

He grabbed her forearm and he led her into the barn and out of sight for a private moment. Pushing her against the wall, he stared into her eyes. "You're a little shit, Ral."

She was trying not to smile but failing utterly. She lacked her captain's ability to keep her face relaxed no matter what she was feeling. "But I almost got a smile out of you, so it's worth it."

"Tch, you're imagining things," scoffed Levi.

She hummed and she put her hands on his waist. "I did. See? Your mouth is twitching right now! Careful, sir. Your insouciance is in danger of slipping."

Levi found himself pinching his lips.

"Hah! You're struggling!" Petra gave a breathy, soft laugh and she slid her hands up to his shoulders. She kissed the corners of his mouth softly. "Just give me one little smile. Please?"

He huffed softly and he relaxed his lips again. The corners of his mouth turned up a miniscule amount and he shook his head at her. "Like I said: little shit."

Petra wrapped her arms around his neck and she gave him another soft kiss. "What's wrong with giving your girlfriend a smile now and then?"

Levi shrugged a little, and his hands settled on her hips. "You know me better than that by now."

She smirked. "True, but it's fun to see your eyes light up a little, if nothing else. Can I at least get some kisses, if not a smile?"

Levi glanced toward the barn door. "Only a couple."

He didn't enjoy being so stingy with his affections. On the contrary, if the situation were better, he would have had her by now. As it was, they were holding back. They even avoided spending too much time alone together, because it would be all too easy to forget themselves and go too far. Having grown up the way he did, Levi had no intention of risking the conception of a child. He couldn't be a husband or a father, and Petra sure as hell didn't deserve the burden of having to give up her calling to have and raise a baby.

That being said, as soon as their lips met again Levi was vividly reminded of the danger of too much alone time with her. He could reason it out all he liked and discuss the responsible path to take with Petra until they were both blue in the face, but when he had her in his arms lip-locked with him, it was damned hard to keep responsibility in mind. As her tongue gently and shyly stroked against his, Levi sucked in a sharp breath and he put his arms around her. He deepened the kiss, vaguely trying to recall the last time he'd lost himself in a woman's embrace. Erwin probably got laid more often than he did, but the commander spent more time in the wealthy districts where upper class women had ready access to the best contraceptives.

"Mmm," hummed Petra softly, her little moan muffled by Levi's mouth.

He lifted her and he pressed her up against the wall again, breath quickening as her petite curves pressed against his body. He was getting too excited, and the way her tongue was stroking his only compounded the issue further. God, he wanted her. It was only through sheer willpower and determination to be responsible that he was able to lower her back to the earthen floor and pull back from the erotic kiss.

"All right, that's going to get us both in trouble if it keeps up," gasped Levi.

"I'm all for trouble," panted the young woman. Her fingers clung to his jacket and her eyes were soft and willing on him. "Levi..."

"No," he answered. He hated himself even as he said it, and he shook his head. "We have to be careful, Petra. Neither of us are in an ideal place to raise a family, and I'm not going to risk putting one of my best soldiers out of commission for nine months."

She bit her lip and she lowered her amber gaze. She absently fondled his cravat as she sighed. "I understand. We could take precautions, though."

"Nothing guaranteed," argued Levi huskily. "What we've got available to us isn't good enough, Petra. I want you...fuck, I want you bad. There, I've said it. My selfish desire for you isn't worth putting you at risk, though."

She smiled at him, and she draped her arms around his neck. "Levi Ackerman, you are—without a doubt—the sweetest gentleman I've ever known. Don't worry, though." She kissed his frowning lips softly. "I won't spread it around."

"Shit, I hope not," he muttered, his hands settling on her waist. He favored her with a brief, rare smile of his own. It was on the tip of his tongue to say he'd fallen in love with her, but he wasn't ready to admit something so deep. "I'd better let go of you before I lose it."

Petra sighed and nodded, stepping away from him with obvious reluctance. "Even a few stolen kisses are worth it, to me."

* * *

"Someone's looking frustrated."

Petra blushed and she looked at Hange sidelong. She was coating the stables with waterproof lacquer, trying not to think of the ache of desire still throbbing within her. "I look frustrated?"

Hange smirked. "Moderately. Is he not putting out?"

Petra choked briefly, dropping the brush and covering her mouth. "Squad leader...!"

"I _knew_ it," muttered Hange with excitement. "Petra and Levi sitting in a tree...K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Or was it F-U-C—"

"No, no," interrupted Petra with a scandalized giggle. "Don't even go there! We haven't...um...we _are_ together, but he won't do that because...well, because we don't have reliable contraception."

Hange's brown gaze softened behind the lenses of her glasses. "I see. You poor things." She reached out to ruffle Petra's hair affectionately, and she sighed. "The captain sometimes takes responsibility to extremes, doesn't he?"

Petra shrugged and she retrieved the paintbrush she'd dropped. "He's only trying to protect me," she excused as she wiped it off against the side of the can to clear the dirt and grass from it. "Neither of us are in an ideal situation to raise a family."

"Hmm." Hange considered the problem as Petra resumed coating the side of the stables. "That's really too bad...but what if someone could provide access to the best contraceptives available?"

Petra dropped her brush again and she looked at the older woman with wide, hopeful eyes. "Could someone do that?"

Hange grinned. "Someone just might, my dear. It could take a couple of days, but—"

Petra impulsively grabbed the other woman's hands and her smile lit up her face. "We've waited this long already...a couple of days won't matter!"

Hange chuckled and she squeezed the smaller woman's hands affectionately. "You've really got it bad, don't you darling?"

Petra didn't bother denying it. "I can't even express the frustration I've been feeling. God, he's so damned responsible and one of us could die any day! I...don't want to die without knowing what it's like to be with the man I love. I know it sounds so corny, but..." She trailed off and bit her lip.

"Oh, I understand," soothed Hange, "and that's why I'm going to help you. I like you, Petra. You're a sweet girl and I've seen the way you make the captain relax. Why, he even started to _smile_ the other day when you offered him those delicious baked treats you made! That's an accomplishment in itself!"

Petra blushed self-consciously and she smiled. "I thought he would be annoyed because I used some of his tea to make them, but he really enjoyed them."

Hange sobered. "He loves you, my dear."

"Oh, I don't know about that..."

"He does," insisted the squad leader. "He's horrible at expressing it, but Levi has feelings like any other man. I saw the look on his face when that titan grabbed you during our last expedition. He was terrified, whether he wants to admit it or not. He practically pissed himself, until you sliced your way free and took that fellow out. One day or another, he'll confess his feelings to you."

Petra smiled again, and she lowered her eyes. "You think so?"

Hange stroked Petra's hair and she nodded. "I know it. He might mouth off to me on a regular basis, but deep down I know the captain likes and trusts me. We've known one another for some time now, and I've gotten a good feel of how his mind works."

Petra felt so much gratitude toward the older woman. She impulsively hugged her. "Thank you. I feel strange thanking someone for helping me get my own boyfriend in the sack, but..."

Hange laughed outright and she patted the smaller woman's back. "Love shouldn't have to wait, darling. I've got your back."

* * *

A few days later, they went on another expedition and Hange once again pressed Erwin for permission to capture and experiment on a titan. In her single-minded obsession to reach her goal, she nearly got Oluo killed. Levi saved the day and Oluo pledged his undying loyalty to him. After that, Oluo started to act...weird. Petra noticed that her friend had purchased a cravat and though she'd advised him to censor his language a bit, he began spouting poetic nonsense that set her teeth on edge.

"He's being creepy," she informed Levi during one of their walks together. "I think...well I could be wrong, but I think he's trying to imitate you, Captain."

"Hmph. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery," muttered Levi. He glanced up at the overcast sky as snowflakes began to drift down. "As long as he keeps his wits in the field, I don't give a damn."

Petra chuckled and she reached for Levi's hand. "It's kind of cute, really. I just hope he doesn't take it too far. He...knows about us, by the way. He confessed to me this morning that he figured it out. I guess everyone knows by now."

Levi squeezed her hand. "Doesn't bother me. They ought to know my judgment isn't compromised by our relationship."

Petra nodded. "You're very thorough, Levi. I try my best not to get moon-eyed around you when we're on missions."

He glanced at her and he smirked. "'Moon-eyed'? That's a new one. I don't distract you too much, do I?"

"No, not at all," she assured him. "I _do_ ogle you a bit when nobody's looking, though. It's a good reminder to stay alive so that I can enjoy a few quiet moments like this."

Levi released her hand and he held his furred cloak open. When Petra snuggled up against him in response to the invitation, he kissed the crown of her head. "These moments aren't bad at all."

"You're sooo enthusiastic," she remarked sarcastically.

"You knew how I was when we got together," reminded Levi softly, still smirking.

Petra nodded. "Yes, I did."

"Do you regret it?"

She looked at him with a tiny frown. "What makes you think that? Your ambiguity is part of what I was drawn to, silly."

A dry chuckle escaped the captain's lips. "I'm just reassuring myself. Every man questions himself now and then, Petra."

She clutched at his harness, stopping their walk in its track. "Never question when it comes to me, Levi. I would follow you into Hell itself...both as your soldier _and_ as your woman."

"Tch...well, that was poetic," muttered Levi. He closed in for a brief kiss. "It makes me wonder what in the hell I did to earn this sort of loyalty from you."

Petra smiled, and she combed her fingers through his soft, dark locks. "By being you. That's really all that matters, Captain."

For once, his pale eyes were expressive and gentle on her. He caressed her face with gloved fingers and his lips parted to speak. Unfortunately, whatever Levi had planned to say had to wait. The approach of a rider stalled their conversation and he hastily dropped his hand and stepped away from her as Mike galloped up to them.

"Erwin's called for a meeting," explained the quiet, enigmatic blond. "He's pushing for Hange's research after we found that journal. He wants you there, Captain."

"Of course," answered Levi with a nod. "I presume this meeting will be taking place in the capital?"

"Right." Mike nodded. "They're getting your horse ready now and I'll ride out with you."

The squad leader turned his mount around and he galloped off, leaving the two lovers alone again. Petra sighed. "Well, duty calls, I guess."

"Doesn't it always?" Levi grabbed her around the waist as she started to walk back to the keep. "Hey, hold up a minute."

Petra started to ask what he was up to, but then she grinned when the captain pulled her into his embrace and kissed her. Who the hell cared what the meeting was about? She had her man in her arms and that was all that mattered for now.

* * *

"So, the commander has come to a decision," Levi said to Hange the next day as they walked the streets with his team.

"I see." Hange bit her lip and lowered her gaze.

"You've earned the approval of the higher-ups to conduct your experiments," finished Levi neutrally.

Hange's expression went from ambiguous to ecstatic within moments, and Petra giggled in spite of herself when the tall brunet pumped a fist and yelled exuberantly. "I begged him to let me tell you," she admitted to the wildly grinning woman, "but he thought it was best that he say it."

"Honey, I don't care if I get the news from a mouse," Hange assured with a cackle. "I'm finally going to be able to press forward with this! Yes!"

Hange looked at Levi; who was wearing his usual neutral expression. "How did you convince them, my dear? It _was_ you, wasn't it?"

"No. It was Erwin." Levi's expression didn't change. "He has more faith in your ridiculous theories than I do."

"Hehehe...so grouchy!" Hange did the unthinkable and she pinched Levi's cheek. "But so cute!"

He slapped her hand away. "Don't touch me, four-eyes."

"Mean," sighed Hange. "It's fortunate for you that I like you so much, Captain. Not to mention your girlfriend. I would almost be tempted to forgo my efforts on your behalf."

At Petra's devastated look, Hange grinned and winked. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I wouldn't do that to you."

"What the hell are you on about?" groused Levi, stopping and turning to glare at her.

"Um...Oluo, there's a bakery across the street," muttered Eld. "Let's go and see if they've got some of those cheesy rolls you like so much."

"Of course," answered Oluo with a brief, resolved glance Petra's way.

As they left, Levi closed the distance between himself and Hange and Petra hastily intervened. "Captain, please don't..."

"I want to know what in the fuck she's talking about," Levi said in a low, dangerous voice.

Hange shrugged lightly, un-intimidated as usual by her small, temperamental captain. "Weeell, every couple needs some intimacy, don't they? You've been holding back though, haven't you? I can't say that I blame you, but nature wants what it wants, wouldn't you say?"

Levi's brows furrowed. "What?"

Hange chuckled and she ruffled his hair, ignoring his sputtering protests as Petra looked on with a worried expression. "Oh come now, Levi. You have this beautiful young woman at your disposal, just waiting for you to fill her with...um...love. I understand your hesitation, but what if you could answer the call of nature without risking the usual result, hmm?"

Petra groaned as Levi's cool gaze slid to her. "I swear I didn't put her up to this," she mumbled, covering her face with her hands.

"No, she didn't," agreed Hange. "I bought it up, in fact."

"And why did you bring it up?" pressed Levi. "Our personal affairs aren't anyone's business."

"True, but you are looking at the woman that can give you something you both need," answered Hange slyly. She reached into an inner pocket of her jacket and she withdrew a pill bottle. She smiled as she shook it before Levi's eyes. "Guess what these are, my dear."

He stared at the label. "I don't know. Drugs." His expression relaxed a bit when he read the instructions, and he looked back up at Hange. "Wait...did you...are these...?"

"Contraceptives," finished Hange with a smirk. "Yes, I did. You love me now, right?" She shook the bottle teasingly before Levi's gaze with a wink.

Petra was completely unprepared for Levi's reaction. The captain reached out to take the pills from Hange and he uttered something she never would have expected from his lips.

"Hange, I take back every bad thing I've ever said about you. You are a fucking goddess."

While Petra gaped, Hange laughed uproariously and she hugged Levi tightly, kissing the crown of his head. "Who's looking out for you, tiny captain? See, I knew you loved me."

"Shut up," he mumbled against her shoulder. Petra covered her mouth on a giggle.

* * *

"Now then, my dear," Hange said to Petra once they were back at headquarters, "you should wait a day for the full effect. I know that you and Levi have been waiting for some time, but don't rush it. Accidents happen that way, you understand."

Petra took the pill bottle and she shook one out into her palm. She took it almost reverently and she chased it up with her glass of water. "Thank you so much for this, Hange. He's been so patient and honestly, I've been pushing it more than he has."

Hange sighed and crossed her legs. "Ackerman has an endless supply of patience when it comes to you...I have to give him credit for that." She winked and grinned at the younger woman. "He's still a man, though. I have to admit it gave me a little thrill to have that kind of power over him, even if only for a moment."

"Enjoy it while you can," mumbled Petra dryly after swallowing the contraceptive. "He's probably going to be a grouch for a few days, knowing he owes you one."

"He'll get over it." Hange shrugged. "Just make sure you break him when the two of you finally have your way with each other."

"Hange!" Petra's wide-eyed stare made the older woman cackle.

"What? Is there something wrong with wanting my friends to have great sex?" Hange spread her hand over her heart as if wounded.

"You can be a little creepy," answered Petra with a chuckle. "Can I just ask why you're so invested in our sex life?"

Hange shrugged. "I've got no sex life of my own. I might as well enjoy yours."

Petra impulsively hugged the taller woman, and she sighed as Hange stroked her hair affectionately. "I think I love you a little bit."

"And I you, darling." Hange kissed the crown of her head. "You've been very good for him. Keep it up."

* * *

"Petra."

She turned and paused in her cleaning, and her heart pounded in her breast as Levi approached her. It was the second day since she'd begun taking the contraceptives provided to her by Hange, and the anticipation of finally consummating her relationship with her lover made her a bit giddy.

"Hi."

 _~Really? 'Hi' is all I can say? I am so stupid.~_

Levi smirked a bit. "Wordy today, are we?"

Petra lightly slapped him on the shoulder, grinning. "Don't make fun of me. I'm nervous."

"Why?" Levi tilted his head in that quietly inquisitive way of his, and his gaze remained steady on her.

"B-because...well, you know." She made a vague gesture and she blushed, wondering why he was making her say it aloud. "Please sir, have a little pity."

Levi huffed in that softly amused way of his and he gathered her into his arms. "We don't have to do it, if you aren't ready."

"Oh, I'm ready," assured Petra. She kissed his neck and she put her arms around him. "I've _been_ ready for a while. It's just...Levi, I'm a little scared."

 _Why_ was she scared, though? She was an adult woman. Most women her age had already married and had children. Here she was about to sleep with the man she'd fallen in love with for the first time and all she could think of was how his opinion of her might change for it.

"What are you afraid of?" Levi stroked her back and he pulled away to look into her eyes. "Petra, I'm going to be gentle with you. I'm not going to hurt you if I can help it."

"No, that isn't my concern," she whispered. She bit her lip and she met his gaze imploringly. "I want it to be good for you too. I...I've done things but I have no experience with—"

Levi interrupted her, pressing two fingers against her lips. "I don't give a shit about that. This is going to be about _us_ , not what we've done with whoever in the past. We'll learn how to please each other."

She was on the verge of telling him how deeply she was in love with him, then. She stared into his eyes and she smiled, reaching up with one hand to run her fingers through his hair. Petra somehow restrained herself from blurting her undying devotion to him and she kissed the corners of his mouth.

"I love how reassuring you are," she sighed. "I get to see a side of you that nobody else could ever imagine."

"Just keep it on the down-low," advised Levi softly. He kissed her back and he massaged her shoulders. "My reputation will be ruined if you go spreading this around."

Petra giggled quietly into his shoulder. "I promise to keep it all to myself, Captain."

He squeezed her briefly and then he met her eyes again. "So, are you sure you're ready for this?"

Petra nodded without hesitation, and she caressed his attractive features with her fingertips. "Very much, yes. I want to be with you, Levi. In every way."

"Thank fuck for that," sighed the captain sincerely—incidentally drawing another chuckle from her. "Don't laugh. You've got no idea how many times I've woken up with a boner and had to deal with it before—"

"Hah!" Petra slapped his chest. "Stop it, you'll make me pee myself!"

"Well step away from me before you do that," suggested Levi dryly.

"You're so mean," huffed Petra. She smirked down at the bulge he was now sporting in his pants, and she steeled herself. If they were going to make love, it was definitely her right to familiarize herself with his body. She cupped that promising bulge in her palm and she met his eyes, satisfied by the startled way they widened.

"I want you inside of me," breathed Petra. Her loins ached with her need of him and she kissed his jaw.

"Wh-what are you trying to get me to do," gasped Levi, "I'm going to lose it soon, you idiot."

Petra smiled, taking his insult in stride. "Good. I want you to 'lose it'. You have no idea how much I've wanted this, Levi."

"Shit," swore Levi. He grinded against her palm suggestively. "Quit that."

Petra was as breathless as he was. "Let's not hold back anymore, Levi. I want to be with you so much."

"No more," agreed the captain in a pant. "Tonight, Petra. I can't wait any longer."

That simple yet potent admission made her want to throw him down on the ground and just let loose her need. "Really? We aren't putting it off any longer?"

"Can't," admitted the captain breathlessly. "Fuck, do you know how hard it's been to put this off?"

Petra smiled, feeling how hard he was in his pants. "You're so...mmm, I've never been this turned on."

"I feel like a fucking teenager about to get a nosebleed," murmured Levi candidly. He reached down to pull her hand away from his groin and he clicked his tongue when she protested. "Hey, cool it. I'm going to end up tossing you on the ground and having you right here in a minute, if this keeps up."

"I don't think I'd object too strongly," she hedged with a smile. She pulled away from him and she winked. "I'll see you tonight, Captain Levi."

"You'd damned well better," he murmured.

Petra felt his hot gaze branding her as she walked away and she couldn't resist a smile. Bless Hange for her wonderfully altruistic interference into their relationship. She wasn't going to die a virgin after all.

* * *

-To be continued


	4. Chapter 4

_*Author's note* This chapter is censored on this site. For the uncensored version containing the full lemon, please visit my Archive of Our Own account._

* * *

Tonight was the night. It was storming, just like it had been the first time they'd kissed. Petra crept to Levi's sleeping chambers as stealthily as possible, having waited until most of the garrison was asleep. Some like Hange were night owls and Petra was particularly careful when walking past her chamber doors. She supposed it didn't really matter now if someone saw her enter Levi's quarters late at night like this. By now, everyone knew they were together, though they kept their love life and military life as separate as possible. She knew her family wouldn't approve of this if they found out, however. Her father in particular would want to see her married to the man she was sleeping with, and that wasn't likely to happen for some time—if at all. To that end, it was really for the best that she and Levi continue to keep most of it clandestine.

She didn't bother knocking when she reached his chambers; he'd told her he would leave the door unlocked and she could just come in. Petra turned the knob and she pushed the door open slowly with her free hand, holding the candle up with her other one. It didn't creak like most of the other doors in the keep; which came as little surprise to her. Levi was so maintenance conscious. She smiled at the thought, having grown rather fond of that obsessive little quirk of his.

"Levi?" she called softly as she poked her head in.

He was sitting by the hearth, reading over some paperwork by lantern light. He twisted in his armchair to look at the door, and he put the documents down before standing up. "Petra, lock it behind you."

She nodded and she swallowed, her mouth going dry suddenly. She came in and she closed the door behind her as he approached, locking it to ensure nobody would disturb them. Levi was wearing his white bathrobe. His hair was slightly damp and fragrant with the scent of his shampoo. Petra smiled lovingly at him as he closed the distance, though there was a faintly nervous quality to the expression. Her gaze flicked to his partly exposed chest and she had to admire the sight of his fit musculature.

His gaze roamed over her, taking in the bulky brown robe she wore. "Cold?"

Petra chuckled self-consciously. "The corridors were a little chilly, but I wore this more to conceal what I've got on underneath it."

Levi's mouth quirked in a subtle, quiet smile. "You've perked my curiosity."

She held his gaze as he reached out to take the candle from her and set it on the side table near the door. Petra took a deep breath as Levi reached down to tug on the belt holding her robe closed, and she dearly hoped he liked the nightgown she'd chosen for this special night.

"I...didn't have much to choose from," she excused as the captain quietly parted the outer material of her robe to reveal what she was wearing underneath.

He broke her gaze to examine the long, pale green chiffon gown she wore. It covered her to the top of her feet, but it hugged her delicate curves rather than hanging loosely off of her. Levi took a breath and he eased her robe off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor carelessly. It surprised her that he didn't pick it up and hang it, but the smoky look in his eyes suggested he had other things on his mind right now. Levi's fingers slid under the delicate, thin straps over Petra's shoulders, gliding along the underside of them for a moment. He then traced the dip in the cleavage line and Petra shivered as his fingertips brushed against the swell of her breasts lightly.

"I...hope you like it," she said breathlessly. She flushed as her nipples pebbled from his sensual, brief caress, poking against the material covering them. She almost covered her chest with her hands self-consciously, but she reminded herself that Levi would be seeing a lot more of her body than this, soon enough.

"Hmph. Look down for your answer," suggested Levi huskily.

Her gaze dropped to his waist and she put her fingertips over her lips in an attempt to control her smile when she saw the way his robe was tenting beneath his belt. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'." His fingertips ascended back up to her throat, and then they caressed her jaw and a tremble went through her. "Nervous?"

She lowered her eyes. "A little."

Levi dropped his hands slowly and he nodded toward the fireplace, where he'd been sitting in his armchair. "Come sit with me for a minute and have some tea."

Petra was getting confused. "Tea?"

"That's what I said," confirmed Levi. He took a couple of steps toward the fireplace and he turned to look back at her. "I want you relaxed, Petra. This is an herbal brew that's supposed to soothe the nerves."

"I'm not _that_ nervous," she protested with a little laugh as she followed him. "I know you won't hurt me, Levi."

He stopped at the coffee table by the armchair and he poured a cup of aromatic tea. "I won't lie to you; there's probably going to be some pain at first."

"Well yes," she agreed with a shrug, aware of that fact, "but it shouldn't last for long. I'm not completely ignorant about such things and I'm not quite as innocent as people might think."

Levi tilted his head as she approached and took the cup he offered. "Good. That means you have some basis of comparison."

She grinned at him before looking down at the beverage in her hands. "I doubt my past...er...encounters will compare with tonight, Levi." She sipped at the brew, detecting a hint of cinnamon flavor and something else she couldn't identify. "Thank you for the tea."

Levi took a seat in the chair and he gazed up at her as he patted his lap meaningfully. Petra eased down sidelong into it, putting one arm around his shoulders. She smiled into her cup as she had another sip of the tea.

"You can be really sweet," she observed after swallowing.

"Tch. Keep it to yourself," warned the captain. "Who I am when we're alone is between you and I." He rubbed her back slowly, his gaze steady on her.

"Mum's the word," promised Petra with a chuckle. It had taken a while to get Levi to open up to her, and she was still discovering those hidden layers. Her breath caught when he leaned in to kiss her neck, his lips soft and caressing against the sensitive skin. Petra's eyes grew heavy-lidded as Levi's hand came up to sift his fingers through her hair. She drank more of her tea and she started to tingle from his kisses.

"I'm going to end up spilling this tea," she predicted a little breathlessly when Levi's other hand eased the gown's strap off of one of her shoulders.

He paused to take the cup from her, and he leaned over to set it down on the coffee table. "No spilling."

His mouth then covered hers in a kiss, and anything Petra might have said in rebuttal was lost.

* * *

When they recovered enough to move again, Petra eased off of Levi with a little gasp. There was a burning ache inside and out from their vigorous lovemaking. She also felt very sticky down there and she tried to think of the best way to ask the captain if she could use the small, private bathroom in his quarters to clean up.

"Fuck, did I kill you?"

Levi's exclamation gave her pause and she looked at him in confusion. She then noticed the traces of blood on his softening groin and thighs, and the splotches on his sheets. Petra gasped, mortified that their activities had stained his bedding. "Oh. I knew there might be blood but I didn't expect to make such a mess! I'll wash the bedding and get the stains out."

Levi's gaze wasn't on the bedding, but fixated between her thighs. "Forget the bedding right now. My concern is keeping you from bleeding out."

Petra looked down at herself and she was just as shocked as he was by the bright smears of crimson between her legs. No wonder she felt so sticky. She'd wondered if that was normal after sex, but apparently most of it was because of the blood. "I...think it looks worse than it is," she said uncertainly. She shifted a little and she winced again.

Levi got up and walked around to her side of the bed, holding his arms out for her. "Come here."

"What are you doing?" asked Petra as she put her arms around his neck and he gathered her up to carry her.

"Having a look at you," answered the captain, "and once I'm sure it's just superficial I'll run a bath for you."

She turned pink. She really didn't like the thought of him scrutinizing her while she was in this condition. "Levi, please just let me take care of it. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

His eyes met hers and while his expression was neutral, his eyes betrayed some concern. "I've seen girls bleed to death when they get their first cycle, Petra."

She was confused for a moment, but then it clicked and she cupped his face in her hands. "I'm not a hemophiliac, Levi. They wouldn't have let me join the military if I were. Please, this is a woman thing. Just let me have some privacy to clean up and check myself and I promise you, if I'm still bleeding significantly then...then I guess I'll go to Hange."

He was silent for a moment, and she realized that he _did_ have a protective side when it came to her; he just never let it show when it came to combat and tactical matters. This was a different situation. Finally he nodded, and he carried her into the bathroom and set her down on her feet. Petra covered her breasts modestly and she thanked him for understanding.

"I'll clean myself and the bedding up while you're in there," Levi said with calm that Petra sensed he didn't really feel. "Just tell me if you need anything."

"I will," she answered as he closed the door. "Thank you, sir."

"Levi," he corrected, pausing before the door was closed all the way. "Save the formalities for when we aren't alone together, Petra."

She smiled and nodded. "Understood."

* * *

He felt like an idiot. After wiping down with a damp cloth and stripping the bedding to soak it, Levi was calm enough to think logically. There wasn't much staining the sheets. Most of it seemed to be on Petra and the two of them had gotten quite vigorous. It stood to reason that all the gyrating, slamming and shifting was more to blame for the mess on her than anything else. He'd taken care to prepare her, so aside from a little bruising and soreness, she shouldn't have sustained any damage from it.

He picked up their discarded clothing items and he folded them up. After slipping into a pair of pajama pants, he put another log in the fireplace and stoked it to keep the room warm, and then he brought Petra's gown to the bathroom.

Levi knocked and when she softly answered him, he cracked the door open and stuck his head in. She'd run a shallow bath and she was sitting in it with her back to the door. Her legs were bent and she had her arms wrapped around them.

"Are you all right with me coming in?" asked the captain.

Petra looked over her bare shoulder at him and she favored him with a sweet smile. "Of course. I'm just soaking a bit before I get out."

Levi brought the gown over and he set it on the stool between foot of the tub and the wall. He squatted down beside the bathtub and he reached for the sponge. "So are you feeling okay or what?"

Petra nodded. "Mm-hmm. I cleaned up and everything seems okay. I just might need to take it easy for a couple of days, if that's all right by you."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Levi soaped up the sponge and he gathered her hair up with one hand to hold it out of the way. "Looks like you didn't get your back."

"No, I didn't." She sighed as he began to lather her up. "And I asked because I have duties I need to be performing each day. I don't want to slack off and disappoint you."

"You need some downtime because of me," he reasoned, meticulously working the sponge over her skin in a circular motion. "In light of that, I would be an asshole to say no."

She chuckled softly and she turned a little to look at him. "You really were worried about me, weren't you?"

"A little," he confessed. "Like I said; we pounded each other pretty hard. I didn't intend to get so carried away."

"It's okay," she soothed. "I was just as into it as you were, after all. Mm, that feels good."

Levi dipped the sponge into the water to rinse the soap from it and he rinsed her back off. He squeezed it over her shoulders and he watched the little rivulets drip down over her fair skin. He liked the freckles on her shoulders. He counted them silently as he rinsed off her back and he leaned forward to kiss them softly. He wanted to tell her how much he'd enjoyed their intimacy...how much he appreciated her company. Levi simply wasn't schooled in the finer points of socializing, however.

"I know," Petra whispered, reaching up and behind to comb her damp fingers through is dark hair.

Levi bowed his head over her shoulder and he sighed. He was getting used to her guessing his thoughts when they were alone. He brushed his lips against her neck and he finished sponging off her back. "The water is getting cold. I don't want you to get sick."

Petra smiled at him and she stood up, leaving him kneeling where he was. Levi stared up at her in a dumbfounded manner. Yeah, he was doomed. He'd never been so stupified by the sight of a naked woman before.

"Well?" prompted the young woman, turning to face him with a shy, teasing smile. "Can I have a towel, Captain?"

"Yeah," muttered Levi after finding his tongue. "Towel...right." He stood up and he spared an accusing glare at his groin before reaching for the fresh towel hanging on the rack.

"It's not funny," he muttered to Petra when she chuckled at the sight of the tent in his pajama bottoms.

"I'm sorry," she offered as she took the towel. "It's just...I'm glad you like me so much, Levi."

"I like you too much for my own damned good," he grumbled, looking away as she began to dry herself off. "Careful with that. Tease me too much and you won't be able to walk for a week."

"That's a risk I think I'd be willing to take," countered Petra. She finished drying off and she wrapped the towel around her body. She draped her arms around his neck and she kissed him lightly. "Thank you, Levi. It was everything I'd fantasized about and more."

He lowered his gaze, trying to cope with the unfamiliar feelings he had for her. "Same."

* * *

Time passed and a second titan attack happened in the Trost district. Once again, the colossal titan appeared and he blasted a hole in the wall for other titans to get in. The losses sustained were devastating, and the scout regiment happened to be out on an expedition when it occurred. Had they been there when the colossal made its second appearance, more lives might have been spared. As it was, Levi's team arrived in time to clean up some of the mess. Unfortunately, the district was lost to them and Levi lost several men in the attempt to recover it. One of which he comforted as he died. Levi hadn't arrived quickly enough to save him before the titan crushed his ribs in its teeth and Petra was unable to stop the internal bleeding.

"I'm sorry sir," she said tearfully, "he's gone."

Levi sighed and he released the soldier's bloody hand from his grip. "Did the man hear any of my words, Petra?"

She looked at the deceased scout and she nodded, wiping her eyes. "I think he heard all of it. Look at him. That's the face of a man at peace. He went out listening to his captain's promise."

"We can hope," muttered the captain. Levi looked at her and he arrived at a decision. Life was too short and too unpredictable. None of them knew how long they had to live in this world, and each moment needed to be treasured. Petra met his eyes as he reached into his pocket for his knife to cut the badge from the fallen soldier, and her tearful gaze became faintly puzzled.

"What is it, Captain?"

Levi dropped his gaze to his task. "Hmph...I was just thinking. Never mind."

He'd barely finished when Erwin arrived and ordered him to pull out. That didn't sit well with Levi at all. He'd lost several comrades just getting this far and he didn't want them to have died for nothing—but there was a swarm of titans moving north and bearing down on the city. They had no choice but to pull back and assess the situation.

Shortly after that, they met a young man called Eren Jaeger who was part of the 104th training squad. He and his team mates were due to graduate and choose their regiment soon. What made Jaeger particularly special wasn't his fighting skills with ODM gear, but his extraordinary ability to transform himself into a titan. Witnesses that saw this transformation were understandably alarmed, and the Garrison Brigade attempted to execute him via cannon fire. The attempt failed when he partially transformed to protect his companions from the blast.

Jaeger was taken into custody by Commander Pixis, and with the help of his friend Armin Arlert, he came up with a plan to seal the hole in Wall Rose. The Survey Corps heard of the plan and Erwin sent Levi and his team to assist with it, but by the time they arrived, Eren had already utilized his titan form to carry a huge bolder to the breach in the wall and plug it. The boy had emerged from the nape of his titan body's neck and his blond friend was struggling to pull him free of it when two titans approached him. Levi arrived just in time to take them out and save the cadets from becoming lunch.

After that, Eren Jaeger was taken into custody again and placed in a dungeon beneath the supreme courthouse in the capital. Erwin discussed it at length with Levi and the captain thought he was out of his mind when he said he wanted to recruit Eren to the scouts.

"Now wait just a damned minute," Levi said with a frown, pacing the floor of Erwin's office in their city headquarters, "this kid can turn himself into a titan, and you want him to join our ranks? We kill titans, Erwin. We don't invite them to the party."

"The boy stopped the titan invasion of Trost," reasoned the commander. "He seems to have full awareness when in his titan form, if reports are to be believed. Eren Jaeger could be the key to turning the tide, and we therefore need him in our custody."

Levi sighed and he combed his fingers through his hair. "Reports also say he tried to swat his childhood friend like an insect. That doesn't sound to me like he has full awareness when he's in that titan body of his. It's a big risk you're wanting to take on wing and a prayer, sir."

"An acceptable risk, for the power that can be gained from it," countered Erwin. He looked out his window and he clasped his hands behind his back. "If the Military Police take him, they'll likely have him executed. I've spoken with Pixis and he has vouched for the boy's sincerity. Of course, I'll want to speak with Jaeger myself so that I can judge his character, but we need to be prepared to bring our case to the courtroom. It depends on Eren as well. If he agrees to join the scouts, we are going to need to convince the judge and jury that he's best off under our command."

Levi sipped his tea before speaking. "So what argument do you plan to use, if we can even get the brat to agree to join us?"

"I'll inform them that we intend to take back Wall Maria with Jaeger's assistance."

Levi frowned at the taller man. "That's a big fucking goal, Commander. Even with a supposedly tame titan on our side, you might be setting your sights too high there."

"I'm all too aware, but it's a mission I'm willing to take on for the good of humanity. Jaeger also carries on his person a key to the basement of his old home, and rumor has it there's some great secret within concerning the titans. This could be what we need to end this struggle once and for all. Is that not worth the risk?"

Levi shrugged and had another sip of his beverage. "Or it could be just a musty old basement with jack shit in it."

"Levi, Eren Jaeger isn't the only human out there that can transform into a titan, I'm almost certain of it," Erwin informed him. "The armored titan and the colossal seem to be more or less the same as him—that is to say, humans controlling titan bodies. Obviously they aren't on our side, but this Eren Jaeger certainly seems to be."

Levi's brows furrowed. "How can you be sure of that? Maybe the kid just hasn't figured out he's the enemy yet...and if the armored and colossal titans are like him, then that means they've probably been living right under our noses for all this time. They could be anyone."

"Correct," agreed the commander, "which leads me to another plan. Something changed when Jaeger transformed. The attack on our walls stopped. Why would the colossal cease its hostilities, when it could have easily broken through the inner walls as well and doomed every last one of us?"

"Who knows?" Levi shrugged. "Maybe it had to take a shit. Oh, that's right; Hange says titan's don't have assholes. Doesn't matter though, does it? The thing is obviously humanity's enemy, so stop trying to reason out its logic."

"That's just it though," Erwin insisted. "It could have breached every wall in the territory and we wouldn't have been able to stop the tide of enemies from reaching all the way to the capital. It didn't, and I suspect it has something to do with Jaeger transforming. Whoever is behind the colossal titan abandoned their mission upon realizing there was another titan like itself within the walls."

"That's a lot of assumptions to make," groused Levi. "So what exactly do you plan to do to flush out the enemy? If they stopped just because of Jaeger then they must want something with him."

"Exactly." Erwin nodded. "That is why I plan to publicly announce our mission plan. If my suspicion is correct, doing so might lure the culprits to us, and we will deal with them accordingly."

"Culprits, plural," mused Levi. "Just how many of these special titans do you think we have living within these walls, sir? We've only seen two of them, besides Eren."

Erwin shook his head. "I don't know. The armored titan didn't make an appearance this time, however. It stands to reason that those aren't the only two, and considering they worked in conjunction during the first attack five years ago, I'm willing to bet they aren't alone. Are you with me in this, Levi?"

The captain sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm with you. Let's hope your plans don't blow up in our faces."

* * *

Through sheer improvising, determination and a hell of a show that left Eren Jaeger beaten to a bloody pulp, Levi and Erwin convinced the court to let them take the boy into custody. Erwin told Levi to take Jaeger to their old headquarters outside of city limits, where Hange could study him without putting civilians at risk. Petra got onto Levi when she heard about how he'd kicked the shit out of the kid in the court room.

"What was the point in that? Hange said you even knocked out one of his teeth!"

"It was necessary for me to make a strong point, Petra," he informed her. He got out his cleaning accessories and he started tying the head scarf on. "The kid's tooth grew back anyway, and he's not even bruised anymore. If I hadn't shown the court how easily I can handle Jaeger, he'd probably be dead by now—or worse. Do you know they wanted to dissect him? Disgusting."

"But...he's just a boy!" Petra looked properly horrified.

"He's 'just a boy' that can turn into a fifteen meter killing machine," corrected Levi. "I saw it myself. They were scared of him, and with good reason. Of course, he's not going to be much better off with Hange once the four-eyed psycho gets started with him..."

Petra clucked her tongue at him admonishingly. "I thought you were going to start being nicer to her. Besides, Hange isn't like that."

"Pfft, really?" Levi put an arm around Petra and he guided her over to the window that overlooked the courtyard below, where the two titans they'd captured were being held in restraints. "Take another look at her 'test subjects' and tell me that."

Petra faltered a bit. "Well, those are different. Eren's a human that can transform into a titan, and he _did_ help with the Trost situation."

"After trying to crush his adoptive sister," reminded Levi grimly. He sighed and he cupped her face. "Look, I get that you feel sorry for the kid. I do too, in all honesty. Poor bastard's been through hell and now I'm going to have to have him watched 24/7. Be nice to him if you want, Petra, but don't forget what he can do. Don't let your compassion blind you to that, understand?"

She sighed and she laid her hands over his. "I understand. Don't worry about me."

"Good. Then give me a kiss before I put on my face scarf. We need to get this shithole cleaned up and Jaeger is mistaken if he believes he's exempt from housekeeping duties."

Petra chuckled and she kissed him lingeringly. "You are such a taskmaster. That poor kid doesn't know what he's in for."

* * *

-To be continued


	5. Chapter 5

Eren Jaeger was a nice enough kid, Petra found. He listened to orders and he tried very hard to please Levi. She found that a little strange, considering the captain had beat the hell out of him in front of everyone in the court room. She would have resented him for that, if it were her. Hero worship was a powerful thing indeed. She tried to make up for Levi's treatment of Eren by befriending the boy, or at least being nice to him. Levi again warned her not to get too close when the two of them went on one of their private walks together one afternoon.

"Petra, do I need to remind you again that this kid can turn into a titan?"

"No sir, you don't," she answered with a shrug. "That isn't his fault, though. His father is responsible for that and so far, Eren's been nothing but sweet. I think we should try to make him feel a bit more welcome."

"Hmph. Sentimental idiot," he muttered, but then he squeezed her hand. He was looking at her oddly and she frowned at him, wondering what was on his mind.

"What is it, Levi?"

He started to say something, and then he shook his head. "Nothing. It doesn't matter. I was just watching your hair or something."

He covered her mouth on a chuckle. "How...romantic."

"Hey, at least I wasn't thinking of taking a dump."

Petra sighed. "You and feces. Don't you think it's a little strange how you obsess over body waste but can't stand the sight of a little dust?"

Levi lowered his gaze. "You didn't grow up the way I did. I can't explain it, Petra."

She bit her lip and she cupped his face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun of you, or make you think of bad memories. Maybe one day you can share parts of your past with me so that I can understand a little better?"

He nodded. "One day, maybe. We'd better be getting back. Hange wants to start doing tests on Eren. We need to find out whether he can be counted on to control his titan form before we go on our next expedition."

She nodded and together, they walked back toward the stone wall surrounding the keep. Eren was already there getting ready to climb into the well, with an excited Hange standing nearby. The scientist waved at Levi and Petra as they approached. "We're about to get started! If you want to pull up a rock and watch, Petra, you're welcome to."

"Actually, I have lunch duty today," answered Petra, "so I should get started on that. Eren, good luck!"

"Thanks," said the boy from down the well.

Levi put his hands on his blades and he stood by Hange. "All right, let's get this over with."

* * *

Poor Eren. Petra brought out some tea later on with the rest of the Levi Squad, and she found the teenager sitting disheartened at the picnic table. She gave Levi a questioning look when she saw the bloodstained bandages wrapped around Eren's hands, and the captain walked a short distance away with her to softly explain what happened.

"He can't transform," whispered Levi, "and his hands aren't healing up. We're trying to work out what the problem is. Hange doesn't think it's because he was in the well and out of sunlight. I guess 'shifter' titans don't require as much of it as the regular variety."

"Maybe he was limited to how many times he could change," suggested Petra.

Levi shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe it's just performance anxiety. What I do know is that our plans are screwed if Eren can't transform."

Petra sighed and she glanced over at Eren briefly. "It's a lot of pressure for a boy that age to deal with, sir. Try not to get impatient with him. Maybe he just needs to do it on his own time."

"That's the problem, Ral. We can't afford to wait for him to 'do it on his own time'. If this mission doesn't pan out as planned, Jaeger is going to be back in chains or worse. It's in the kids' own best interest to work through this and figure out the holdup."

Petra smiled at him.

"What?" demanded Levi softly.

She shook her head and she looked off into the distance, resisting the temptation to squeeze his hand. They had a rule to avoid public displays of affection for the sake of keeping their lovelife and duties separate.

"I just had a thought," whispered Petra. She looked at his handsome profile sidelong. "I think you would have made a good father, if your life had taken that route."

"Shit," he snorted. "I'd feel sorry for any kid of mine. 'Shit or get off the pot, brat. it's time to lose the diapers'."

Petra giggled. "I don't think you'd be that bad. I think you'd be very responsible and protective."

Levi gave her that odd look again...the one she'd been seeing on his face a lot. "Is something wrong, sir?"

"Maybe we should have a talk tonight," he answered her, "after dinner."

"Okay..." Now she was starting to worry. "Is it anything bad?"

Levi shook his head and he started having a sip of his tea. "No, but it's serious and—"

There was a sudden explosion of steam behind them, along with the crack of blinding green lightning. Levi's eyes went wide, the teacup still held to his lips. Petra stood shocked and confused as well as the hot wind blew their hair forward. She turned around and she blurted a shocked exclamation when she saw the giant skinless titan arm on the ground. Eren was attached to it by the hand and he was struggling to pull free.

That was when all hell nearly broke loose. Petra and her comrades drew arms and they began shouting warnings at Eren, each of them frightened and conflicted. It was the first time any of them save Levi had ever seen the boy transform, and their instinctive mistrust of titans made them immediately wary of him.

"Calm down," Levi said sternly—not to Eren Jaeger, but to his squad. He stood between the four of them and the teenager, keeping his hands on his weapons but not drawing them. "The situation is complicated."

Oluo shouted out threats at Eren as if their captain hadn't just spoken, demanding answers from the boy. Petra saw how close Levi was to the arm and her fear became for his safety more than her own.

"Captain sir, you're too close!"

"Actually I believe _you_ are the ones that are too close," admonished Levi. "Now for the last time... _calm down_."

"EREN!"

Hange came running from the forest path, jumping up and down with excitement as she and Moblit closed the distance. "Please, let me touch it! Please!"

Levi frowned as she impulsively laid hands on the disgusting titan arm—against Eren's advisement—and then screamed a curse at how hot it was to the touch.

"Son of a _bitch_ , that mother is _hot_!"

Her timely intervention put an end to what might have turned into a nasty confrontation, and when she found the spoon clutched in the titan hand, she plucked it from its fingers thoughtfully.

* * *

Hange later explained to all of them what she believed had happened. Her theory was that Eren hadn't been able to transform in the well because he didn't have a clear and present goal in mind. Each time he'd transformed in the past, he did so with a purpose. Since all he was doing in the well was trying to transform for the sake of doing so, Hange believed that was the reason for his failure.

"So what happened today wasn't intentional?" Gunther demanded.

Eren shook his head. "No sir. I didn't expect it and all I was doing was reaching for a damned spoon."

Petra and the others looked at one another and nodded. She bit into her hand and they followed suit while Hange and Eren looked on with confusion. Levi's expression remained impassive, but he felt an interesting swell of pride when his team explained to Eren that it was their way of apologizing to him for today. His gaze stayed on Petra as she told Eren that trust in one another was important for all of them. Eren looked up at the captain, and Levi nodded subtly. He glanced at Petra before excusing himself, trusting her to come and join him in his quarters when she finished up in the mess hall.

* * *

"Come in."

Petra cracked the door open and she peaked in to find Levi standing over his desk, looking down at the collection of badges in his open drawer. He'd cut each one of them from the uniforms of his own fallen soldiers. She bit her lip as she walked over to him and looked down at them. She'd known quite a few of the men and women that once wore those badges, but she knew that there was a whole layer of them on the bottom from scouts that had passed before she joined the ranks. Many of them were stained with dried blood.

Petra put her hands on Levi's shoulders and she rubbed them soothingly. "Something's been heavy on your mind lately, I can tell. Will you talk to me, Levi?"

He nodded, his eyes still on the badges. "I never planned on a family, aside from my comrades in arms."

Petra frowned a little. "Did I spook you with my talk of you making a good father today, Levi? I wasn't fishing for anything with that, you know. It was just an observation."

"I know," he answered. He turned to look at her, and he caressed her face with his fingertips. "It didn't 'spook' me, but it made me think on something I've been toying with for a while. The fact is, some things are inevitable in life. Death is one of them. Another inevitability is that if you fool around enough, eventually you're going to end up with a pregnancy on your hands."

She felt a sickening feeling of dread. He was worried about getting her with child, even though they were using the contraceptives given to them by Hange and they hadn't made love for nearly a week. "Levi...are you breaking things off with me?"

He didn't answer her question. Instead he held her gaze and he spoke in a low, serious voice. "You asked me today if I'd ever share part of my past with you. Something you ought to know about me is that my mother was a prostitute, and I've no idea who my father was. She ended up raising me alone in squalor, and she eventually fell ill and died in front of me. Dad—whoever he is—was never there for us. He probably didn't even know I existed...hell, I don't know. It doesn't matter. My uncle took me in for a while, and then he abandoned me too."

Petra's gaze softened with sympathy on him. "Levi, that's awful."

He smirked without humor. "Now you know why I'm so tight-lipped about my past. It was a downer from birth until I joined the Scout Legion. I don't like to talk about it, but I think it's important that you understand where I'm coming from when I say this."

Petra felt her heart clenching with where this was leading. She shook her head and she stroked Levi's hair. "Please, don't do this."

"You haven't even heard what I have to say yet," he said calmly. He took a slow breath and he seemed to gather himself for the next part. "I'm not willing to repeat my past. I'm not going to risk knocking you up."

"L-Levi..." She choked and her heart began to break.

"You said you thought I'd have made a good father today," he murmured, putting his hands on her waist. "How do you feel about being a wife?"

Petra stared openly at him. "A...a wife? Me?"

"Do you see anyone else around?" asked the captain patiently. A bare hint of a smirk curved his lips.

"I'm confused," admitted Petra. The pain in her heart was replaced by shocked hope.

"I don't have a ring to give you," Levi went on, still holding her gaze. "Haven't had the chance to go into town and look for one, and I just finalized this decision in my head today. Listen, nothing's certain. Our future's looking pretty damned bleak, but no kid of mine is growing up without a father while I'm still breathing, and before I further risk making you a mother, I want to give you my name. Is that all right by you?"

"I think I need to sit down," she gasped. She never would have dreamed Levi Ackerman would propose to her. Granted it was rather business-like and logic based, but still...he wanted to be her husband!

"Answer the question before you do," insisted Levi. "It took a lot of balls for me to bring this up to you, Petra, so don't leave me hanging."

She laughed with helpless disbelief. "You're serious, aren't you?"

Levi's intense gaze never left her as she nodded his head. "Like I told you today, it's a serious thing."

She put her hands on his shoulders, feeling like she was dreaming. "Can I just ask one thing, Levi?"

"What is it?"

"What exactly finalized your decision to propose to me?" she asked.

"When you bit your hand and apologized to Jaeger for your behavior earlier today," he answered readily. "That's when it hit me. If I'm going to chance having a kid with someone, it's going to be a woman that's everything I'm not. Patient, caring, unpretentious and with minimal baggage. I'm not saying I want to start shooting for a baby, understand. I'm just covering our asses just in case. Make sense?"

Petra nodded, flushing with pleasure at the uncommon praise from him. "It does."

"So is that a yes or what?" pressed Levi.

She chuckled and she hugged him, laying her head against his chest. "Yes. I feel really good about being your wife. Petra Ackerman sounds...nice."

"You made me wait long enough," sighed Levi, his tension visibly fading. "I was starting to break a sweat waiting on your answer."

Petra tilted her head back to look at him, grinning happily. "Really? You seemed so calm."

"I was fucking terrified," admitted the captain. "Now _I_ need to sit down, too."

"Here, let's go to the bed," she suggested, keeping one arm around him as she guided him over to it. Petra thought it was cute that Levi was actually nervous about asking her, but she was still shocked that he'd gone through with it. She sat down beside him on the edge of the bed and she combed her fingers through his hair.

"In my defense, I thought you were breaking up with me," she informed him, "and well...no offense Captain, but your delivery could use a little work. I never thought I'd get married at all, but that wasn't how I imagined a man proposing to me."

"Hey, I apologized for not having a ring for you," he muttered, "and you know I suck at this romance crap."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Sometimes you're better at it than you give yourself credit for, Levi. I don't need a ring. I don't even need a honeymoon. I just want you."

She kissed him on the lips next, and Levi cupped her face and deepened it. As his tongue caressed hers, Petra's body heated up. She broke the kiss and she gazed into his eyes, blushing with arousal. "Levi? We...don't have to wait until after we take our vows to make love again, do we?"

"Considering we would have to wait to take those vows until after we return from the expedition with Jaeger, hell no." Levi started unbuttoning Petra's shirt. "I don't think I have the patience to wait a week or longer to have you again."

She smiled in relief and she kissed him again, her own hands getting busy with the removal of his clothing.

* * *

"There's something extra special between the two of you lately," Hange remarked to Levi on the day of the scheduled expedition beyond the walls. The squad was preparing to travel to Wall Rose to meet up with their fellow scouts for the ride out.

"Do you think so?" He remarked neutrally. He lifted the canvas covering the supply wagon and he frowned at the equipment beneath it. "You're sure this is going to work?"

Hange patted the canvas back into place, well aware that they weren't to reveal the contents of these wagons to anyone not on the short list. "The concept is simple," she whispered. "We harpoon the titan with these holding wires and the more its body regenerates the damage, the more embedded the barbs become. Not even a fifteen meter could escape this trap, Levi."

Hange clenched her hands into fists. "We're going to get it, this time."

"And what about the colossal titan?" pressed Levi. "That's a tall order to take down, four-eyes."

She sighed. "All we can do is try and lure it. Whichever one shows up, we will deal with it. If we can capture one, then we'll know we can capture the others." Her expression lightened up. "Now, about those secretive, special little glances I keep seeing between you and Petra: what's that about?"

"You're imagining things," he said coolly. He went to his horse and he patted his neck before mounting up.

Petra came riding over from the keep's gate and she met Levi's eyes. A smile curved her lips and his bored expression seemed to lift slightly. Hange thought he looked like he was on the verge of smiling back at the young woman. Hange knew they'd already been having sex, so that wasn't it. She didn't think Petra was expecting either, so there was something else to blame for the subtle shift in their behavior.

"Fine, be secretive," muttered the scientist, "but it's a small fortress and I'm an observant woman. I'll find out sooner or later what's going on with you two! Moblit, the cart's ready! You're driving."

"Yes ma'am," said Hange's assistant. He tied his horse up to the wagon to keep it following along and he hopped into the driver's seat.

* * *

"All right Petra, I can't get your man to talk, so I'm going to chat with you for a minute," Hange said after drawing the younger woman away from the formation that was coming together. "Real quick; what's going on with you two? I have to know!"

"That's what you needed help with?" Petra chuckled. "We shouldn't waste any time, squad leader."

"I know, but my inquisitive mind is just dying to know! Come on, my dear. I helped you get laid, so spill the beans!"

"Shh," admonished Petra with a blush when a couple of Eren's friends passed by and glanced their way. "All right, but don't spread it around, okay? Levi and I are going to announce it after the expedition, if all goes well. He proposed to me the night after Eren partially transformed at the table."

Hange's eyes went round and wild with excitement. "The captain...proposed? _Levi_? Hot _damn_ , girl! You said yes, right? Tell me you said yes!"

"Of course I did," assured Petra, "I'm not crazy. Now, when we actually take our vows depends on how well this mission goes. If we make it through this test run and are sure that we can get Eren to the Shigonshina district, then the captain and I can go ahead with our plans while we have a reprieve. If not, then I guess we'll have to wait for a little while longer."

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Hange clasped her hands together with enthusiasm. "I never thought I'd see the day when Levi tied the knot! I thought the commander would do it before he would, actually."

Petra smiled. "I never thought it would happen either. I was just as surprised as you are."

"Fall in," shouted Erwin, "all squads prepare to ride!"

"Well I guess we'd best go," Hange sighed. She reached out over the distance between their mounts to squeeze Petra's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, dear. Very best of luck to you."

"Thank you, Hange. Um...oh...that reminds me," Petra blushed. "Would you mind being my maid of honor? It isn't going to be too formal or anything, but some tradition would be nice."

"Really? Me? Well, I don't know what to say!" Hange was clearly flattered.

"Just say yes," advised Petra with a giggle. She turned her mount to ride back to the formation, where Eren and his friends from the 104th training squad waited with the rest of Levi's team to move out.

Hange watched after her and she sighed. Sometimes life could be beautiful. This news almost made up for the loss of her two latest test subjects. She smiled at the thought of finding the culprit and making them pay for that.

* * *

Trust. It was all about trust, wasn't it? Then why wasn't he telling Petra what was really going on? He _knew_ she wasn't a titan shifter, and considering that she was going to be his wife he at least owed _her_ the courtesy of shedding some light on the mystery of what they were doing in the forest of giant trees. He couldn't, though. Erwin had given him strict orders not to tell _anyone_ that wasn't in on the plan the truth of it. This was where his leadership skills were really going to be put to the test. By process of elimination, only the survivors from the attack five years ago were in on it, because they were the only ones that Erwin could be certain weren't titan spies. Telling even Petra could cause a potential liability.

It was therefore a test of sheer willpower for Levi to ignore his team's pleas for orders as they charged through the forest with the female titan on their heels. He wasn't expecting her himself. He'd been expecting to see the armored titan or the colossal. This female titan was brand new to him.

There was no help for it. All that he could do right now was lead the target to the designated area and keep his people moving. Levi avoided looking back over his shoulder, keeping his eyes straight ahead even though Petra's cries in particular made him grit his teeth. Eren nearly transformed into his titan body, but Levi talked some sense into and Petra cinched it by asking him to trust them.

Again, there was that word: _trust_. How could he ask it of his team if he couldn't do the same for them? It was an means to an end, an unfortunate necessity given the circumstances. Levi had to believe he was doing the right thing, and he completely empathized with Eren's struggle when the boy was told to choose between trusting his team and going off on his own.

 _~Erwin...Hange...you'd better be ready with those traps, because if I lose a single one of my team members today...~_

He pressed forward grimly, trying not to think of that possibility. No, they were survivors. The plan was solid and they didn't have to worry about other titans coming in and interfering, thanks to the squads distracting them at the outer edges of the forest.

Levi gauged that they were far enough in to use the acoustic flare and warn the commander. He'd been keeping a mental count of the distance they'd traveled through the entire mad chase, and he saw a mirrored flash up ahead in the trees—a signal that he was nearly there.

"Everyone, cover your ears," he called to his team. He lifted his flare gun and he fired it to signal the ambushers waiting up ahead.

* * *

Hange's traps worked as intended. Dozens of harpoons with steel wires attached fired from the deployment cannons in the trees under Erwin's orders. The wires seemed to successfully halt the female titan's momentum, and she covered the nape of her neck with both hands to protect it as soon as the barbs started piercing her. Levi glanced over his shoulder to ensure the enemy was subdued, and then he spoke to his team. His gaze lingered on Petra, who looked like she was ready to shit herself with relief.

"I have to break away for a little while. Tuck Eren away somewhere safe up ahead, away from the female titan, and see to my horse."

His gaze lingered on Petra for a moment before he deployed his ODM gear and took to the trees. The immediate threat was out of the way, for now. He felt safe leaving Eren in his team's hands.

* * *

They'd underestimated the enemy's cunning. After unsuccessfully attempting to cut through her hands to get to the nape of her neck, Erwin ordered her hands to be blown off with cannon fire. Before they could comply with the order however, the female titan screamed at the top of her lungs and the sound echoed through the forest and beyond. It was deafening and Levi at first thought it was simply a cry of rage. Then Mike announced that he could smell incoming titans from every direction and the truth of it became apparent. The shifter had called for reinforcements—or so it seemed at first, until they went straight for her and began to cannibalize her.

The scouts tried to defend the female titan before she could be eaten alive, but there were just too many of them. Erwin finally ordered a withdrawal. The mission was a failure. The commander ordered Levi to refuel and replenish his blades rather than regrouping with his team right away. He didn't understand it, but he only briefly questioned him before obeying the order.

* * *

"How is that possible?" Petra screamed it even as the female titan came charging after her, having regenerated one of her eyes after Petra and her teammates took both of them out. She'd never heard of a titan focusing like that and re-growing missing parts so quickly, but everything about this particular one was unique. Both Gunthar and Eld were dead. Now there was only herself and Oluo to protect Eren until the Captain rejoined them.

 _~Levi...please be all right. Please be safe!~_

As the target's single blue eye fixed on her and her gigantic feet shook the ground, Petra saw her end approaching.

"Petra," shouted Oluo from above, "pull it together! You're too low!"

She tried to accelerate and ascend higher, knowing she didn't stand a chance before the enemy was upon her. Tears pricked her eyes as the female titan caught up with her, and as Petra was slammed into the tree, her last thoughts were of the captain and the last night they'd spent together.

* * *

On his way back, Levi heard another primal scream that he immediately recognized as Eren's voice in titan form. He changed directions immediately, sensing something very wrong in the air. Jaeger had seemed convinced that he could trust the Levi squad, so if he'd shifted into titan form now...

It was then that he saw Gunther hanging limply from one wire of his ODM gear. His neck appeared broken. Levi searched the ground as he passed by, inwardly hopeful. Eld Jinn he saw next. He'd been bitten in half and spat out in two pieces. He came across Oluo's body after that, and as he spotted Petra's shiny hair near the trunk of one of the trees, Levi came in for a landing on the branch. He stared down at his lover's blank, dead eyes and bloodied nose and mouth. If it weren't for the blood, she might have looked almost peaceful. It appeared her death had been almost instant—but such was a cold comfort.

Levi just stared quietly down at her for a moment, his expression faintly regretful. He was numb inside. He'd expected to meet back up with her and explain why he'd kept her in the dark. Now she'd never know.

He heard another furious roar from deeper in the forest and he reacted on disciplined training. They weren't going to die for nothing. Their mission was to protect the Jaeger brat, and Levi's resolve was hardened further. He had no time for regrets or apologies right now; he had to make sure he honored their sacrifice.

The captain found Eren's titan body steaming on the forest floor after traveling for a bit, and it looked like the nape of its neck had been bitten off completely. He saw Mikasa Ackerman up ahead as he followed the sound of the female titan's footsteps. The foolish girl was attacking the female titan alone, shouting at her to give Eren back.

So that was it. The towering bitch had eaten him. All of this had been for nothing. The very least that Levi could do was keep Eren's girlfriend from killing herself trying to avenge him. He intervened to stop her wild attacks on the creature and he ordered her to hang back with him when she insisted that Eren was still alive.

"She bit the whole nape off," reasoned Levi. "It's unlikely he survived."

"No, he's alive! She isn't like the other titans," insisted Mikasa. "She has purpose! She needs something from Eren, so she's holding him in her mouth so that she can use her hands to fight with."

"Someone's optimistic," observed Levi.

Then Mikasa blamed him for Eren's predicament, and Levi finally felt a spark of rage inside. He came damned close to just abandoning the stupid little bitch to whatever fate she had planned for herself, but he reminded himself of his mission.

"All right, let's narrow our goals," he said with tight control. "We'll forget about taking her down. Instead, we'll act on the assumption that Eren is alive, and we'll focus on freeing him. I'll handle all of the cutting. You find a way to distract her."

Mikasa agreed with the plan, if only because she was so desperate to rescue her childhood friend. As Levi closed in on the target, an eerie calm came over him. There was rage beneath it, but it wasn't like the blind rage that had overcome him years ago when he found his only two friends killed by a titan. There was a resolve there—a determination to see this goal realized.

Then it happened. As soon as the titan bitch turned around and swung out at him, Levi cut loose. Grunting and yelling aggressively, he spun up her arm to her face, his blades whirring so fast she couldn't harden her skin against them. He drove his weapons hard into her eyes, splashing blood all over himself in the process. Jumping away, he replaced his blades and he proceeded to cut into her with a fury that wasn't quite out of control, but frightening to behold, nonetheless. He pictured Petra's face as he carved the young woman's killer up, slicing through sinew, muscle and bone with a bit more pleasure than necessary for the purpose of his attack.

He broke away again as the titan's arms flopped uselessly and her body went limp. Now was his chance to get Eren. Then he saw Mikasa closing in with cold purpose in her eyes and he yelled at her to stop—just as the titan's arm came up. Levi swooped in and he shoved Mikasa out of the way, twisting his leg on the impact as he landed. He grunted in pain, but he didn't let the injury stop him from his goal. Before the titan could recover any further, Levi attacked again and he cut open her cheeks and lips. Her jaw fell open and he found Eren inside, covered in gooey saliva. Putting aside his disgust, the captain grabbed the kid, fired his grapplers and sped away through the trees with him.

"He's all right," he called to Mikasa after landing painfully on a branch. "Disgusting, but all right. Our work is done here. Don't screw this up by making it personal, you understand?"

It was all well and good for him to lecture that, but inwardly the captain admitted to himself that he'd had a few "personal moments" while cutting into the titan himself.

* * *

After regrouping, the command squad went back for the dead in the forest while the others kept the titans busy. After devouring the female titan they'd departed the forest to the outer edges where they sensed the most humans. Hange stood watching tearfully as Levi went straight to Petra's body and pulled her away from the trunk.

"We shouldn't linger here for too long," said one of the men in the group. "Shouldn't we help the captain with that one?"

Hange shook her head. "Give him time alone with her, soldier."

"But squad leader—"

Hange grabbed the young man by his shirt and she hoisted him off the ground with a scowl. "I will cut your balls off if you take one step toward the captain. Do you understand?"

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she wore a maniacal smile that promised she would follow through with her threat if he crossed her. The man choked and nodded as much as his dangling position could allow, and Hange dropped him to the ground without ceremony. He backpedaled away from her, coughing.

"She's crazy," he exclaimed to one of his fellow squad mates.

Hange ignored the accusation, having grown used to hearing it. She stood watch for any signs of titans, as well as to ensure that none of her fellow scouts tried to interfere with Levi's private moment. Her heart ached for him and she breathed a shaken sigh. She'd been very fond of Petra too, and she never resented her for nabbing the captain's affections. He'd lost his entire team and the woman he'd loved enough to propose to. For Hange, that was unforgivable and she clenched her firsts, making a silent vow to bring that female titan down one way or the other.

* * *

Levi held Petra's body in his arms, dry-eyed and quiet. A light rain began to fall as if the skies were weeping for him. He stroked her hair and he gazed into her blank, amber eyes. He held her closer and he brushed his lips against her cheek.

"I can't mourn you the way you deserve, right now," he whispered. "I have to stay focused so that your death will mean something in the end. I promise you though, Petra, when this is over I'm going to honor every moment you gave me. I'm not sure if I believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I'll meet you there eventually."

Levi bowed his head over her cooling, limp body and he held her for a while longer. It was all he could do. He couldn't express his rage and loss, he couldn't cry and he couldn't think of anything else worthwhile to say to her. He heard approaching footsteps and he looked up to see Hange standing over him with her hood drawn up. The scientist carried a body tarp and rope in her arms, and she squatted down beside him with tearful, sympathetic eyes.

"Do you need more time, Levi?"

He looked down at Petra's upturned face and he shook his head. He gently closed her eyes with his thumb and forefinger and he waited for Hange to spread out the tarp, before laying Petra down on it. Together, they wrapped her carefully up and tied the tarp secure. Levi carried her body to the wagon, where all of the other recovered dead had already been carefully piled in. He got into the wagon with Moblit's help and he placed Petra on the top of the pile.

Mounting his horse, Levi followed beside the wagon as they moved out to join the rest of the platoon and go home. He'd saved Eren Jaeger, but how much good was that going to do? Having failed this mission, they were likely going to be ordered to release the kid back to Military Police custody and Eren's chances of not being executed didn't seem very good.

* * *

Petra's father approached Levi when the battle-weary squad came through the gates, and the captain was utterly silent as the man spoke to him. Petra had evidently mentioned something to him in her latest letter home that hinted of her engagement to Levi, and her father expressed concerns that she was still too young to be considering marriage. Levi couldn't even manage a word for him. He didn't even have Petra's body to return to her family, as the convoy had to make a desperate decision to jettison some of the dead to lose some weight an outrun the titans that were after them. Petra's body had been amongst those thrown out of the wagon, and watching that happen had almost broken Levi. He clutched her badge in his pocket, the only memento he'd had the chance to get of her. There were also her belongings to go through, but he couldn't even think of that now.

Just as Levi feared, they were summoned to the capital upon their return, and the Survey Corps custody of Eren was revoked. However, a plan was devised once Armin Arlert went to Erwin with his suspicions of the identity of the female titan. He had no solid evidence; only his own observations of both the titan's behavior and the suspect's. He explained these suspicions carefully and he came up with a plan to try and expose her and capture her. Annie Leonhart happened to be one of the graduating cadets from Eren's squad, and Armin's plan to expose her succeeded—but not quite as intended. They couldn't get her underground before she transformed and a battle ended up raging through the city—mostly between Eren and Annie in their titan forms.

Unfortunately Levi's leg was still injured, so he was unable to actively participate in the mission until the very end, and even that was difficult on him. He saw Eren doing something strange with the female titan and he quickly intervened before it could spell disaster. He wasn't exactly trying to devour her, but it looked almost as if his titan form was merging with hers. Levi cut him out of the nape before it could go any further, and then he noticed that Annie's body had formed a hard, crystal-like shell around it. Levi narrowed his eyes on it as Jean futilely tried to break through it with his broken titan blade.

"Enough," Levi ordered with a sigh. "It's over."

They weren't going to get through that substance through any regular methods.

"Someone get me a wire net," ordered Hange. "This thing belongs deep underground!"

* * *

Erwin managed to iron out the kinks and get the scout regiment exonerated, and Eren was given back into their custody. The losses were still profound, however, and it wasn't until Levi returned to the keep and began going through Petra's things that he finally allowed himself to grieve for her. Levi knelt before her trunk of belongings and he silently rummaged through it. There was a stuffed teddy bear—obviously a favorite childhood toy due to its apparent age. He found letters from her parents and a few framed pictures. He lifted a recent one out and he touched the smooth glass. It was a photo of the entire Levi squad. Petra was smiling happily between Oluo and Levi...and she had made "bunny ears" behind Levi's head. He'd never even realized it.

"Little shit," he murmured.

He'd never hear her laugh again. He'd never see her smile warmly like that, never have a quiet walk with her, never hold her hand or kiss her lips. Levi's eyes began to burn and he set the picture down to lift out a leather-bound book he'd spotted. It was her journal. He hesitated. These were Petra's personal, private thoughts. Did he have the right to read them even now?

Levi opened the book to a random page, and he read a passage against his better judgment.

 _"I've just met the captain for the first time. He isn't at all what I expected, but I think I like the reality more than the rumors. He's really small but he has this intense presence. He's also really cute. Maybe too cute. I'm so bad._

Levi snorted a little and he flipped to another random page. He immediately regretted it the moment he read the words written there.

 _"I love him. I'm in love with Captain Levi. I think he might love me too, but he can be a little hard to read sometimes. I'm trying not to act like an idiot and scare him off. Our relationship is still new. Every time he kisses me, I feel like I'm flying. How did I ever think this man was cold? He's disciplined yes, but he has deeper layers and the more he shows me, the more I want to be with him. God help me, I'm doomed."_

Levi closed the journal and he bowed his head. He swallowed and he dropped the journal back into the trunk. His chest hurt and his vision started to blur. He was losing his composure. He reached up to rub his temples and he tried to steady his breathing. A soft, shaken sigh escaped his lips and despite his efforts to hold them back, the tears started to come. If he hadn't gone to refuel and replenish, he might have made it there in time. He might have been at her side and even if he couldn't save her, perhaps he could have died with her.

He wept quietly and he reached into his pocket for his handkerchief. "Fuck," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Petra. That goes for all of you. I rode you into your graves."

Levi hadn't cried in a good, long while. It felt strange to do so, but he couldn't hold back the grief any longer. His hand curled around Petra's teddy bear absently and he squeezed it. After taking a moment to get a hold of himself, Levi got to his feet with a pained grunt, his leg still recovering from injury. He sighed and he began replacing the things he'd taken out so far—save for the journal and a few pictures. He could go through the rest later. If he kept doing it tonight he'd have a break down for certain.

* * *

A couple of days later, Levi went to the underground facility they were keeping Annie in and he stared unblinkingly up at the crystallized young woman. Hange came into the chamber as well after a few moments, and she stood by his side in companionable silence. Levi made another silent promise as he stood there with the scientist.

 _~I'm not finished with you. Whatever your mission was, we are not done. If you ever come out of that shell, you'd better hope I'm not still around. Maybe I won't kill you, but you need a lesson in pain. That's my promise to you.~_

Levi tensed when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He glanced sidelong at Hange as the scientist spoke softly to him. "I know; 'get your hands off me, four-eyes'."

Levi lowered his gaze. "I don't mind."

There was a strange sort of comfort in Hange's presence. Of all the comrades he'd gained over the years with the scouts, she was one of the few constants. She'd survived. He didn't even find her as annoying as he used to, but he believed that was partly due to how sincerely she'd grieved for Petra and how supportive she was trying to be.

"What are you thinking?" asked Hange, looking from him to the titan shifter.

"Guess," muttered Levi.

"All right," she agreed, rubbing his shoulder. "You want to flambé that bitch the minute she comes out of that crystal. Am I warm?"

"Not bad," answered Levi. "Unfortunately, if I were to do that I'd be setting myself up for arrest. I can't get onto Jaeger for trying to devour her and then turn around and slice her up myself, unfortunately."

"Why not? I'd be happy to do it myself. Oh, how I would _love_ to get her under the knife. I would make every moment painful for her."

Levi met Hange's eyes. "You're taking it personally."

"And you aren't?" scoffed Hange. She looked at Annie again. "She made it personal, Levi. With every life she took from us, it was personal."

"She was acting in the interest of capturing Eren," he reasoned. "Our soldiers were simply in her way."

"Hmm." Hange sighed. "I don't know how you can be so calm about it. I would say you're trying to excuse her, but I know you better than that."

"No, her actions were inexcusable," he agreed, "but as soldiers, you and I both know casualties are part of the game. Forgiveness isn't an option for me, but I do understand the drive to complete a mission. We may never know what hers was."

"You've always had a very tactical way of thinking," sighed Hange.

"And you've always had a screwed up way of thinking," he murmured back.

She smiled at him. "That's in the eye of the beholder, Levi. At any rate, whatever you decide to do in the end, I want you to know I'm with you. I'll support your decision."

"Even if Erwin doesn't?" He looked at her curiously.

"Especially if Commander Eyebrows doesn't," Hange said with a slight scowl. "I'm not happy with him right now."

"Why? He's done everything he can under the circumstances."

"And here comes that unquestioning loyalty of yours again, even though his orders to you were directly responsible for Petra's death." Hange shook her head. "You _do_ realize that if he hadn't ordered you to go back and refuel, you might have arrived in time to—"

"I realize that," interrupted Levi coldly, "and I don't need to be reminded. I think _you_ need to remember you are a soldier, and you need to start acting like it. Command decisions aren't made to be cold-hearted. You've known Erwin for long enough to understand how he weighs his odds."

"Yes, but it's just damned unfair," she answered. "Ah, I'm sorry, darling. I've pissed you off again, haven't I?"

Levi shrugged. "I'm used to it. Just don't remind me of all the 'could haves' and 'would haves', all right?"

"Got it." Hange dared to give him a kiss on the crown of his head. "Just remember, I'm on your side."

Hange left him alone then, and Levi considered her words as he remained in place, staring at the creature that had decimated his world. Perhaps practical logic really had no place in the end.

* * *

-The End


End file.
